(Hebrews 11.1) It's Called Faith

Sorry that I haven’t posted about God in a while. You all will have to excuse me for not posting sooner, and to explain, it will take me just a little time out of this blog but what they hey....... Ya see I have these two really wonderful parents that are both in their mid to late 70s. In the past couple of months I have been going over and spending upwards of three days a week with my mom, just talking to her, or helping my dad with his computer and teaching him the basics. I would teach him so much more but I fear his head would explode. Along with this I have also been trying to keep up with my regular house duties, trying to take care of my wonderful wife of over 21 years, trying to do favors for my friends and all the while I am a disabled person.

Many people don’t know this, and I won’t let this little titbit out again, it can take me up to a couple of weeks to flush out an idea for a blog, research, pictures, Adobe, fact-checking, typing, and then building web pages are just a start, let alone FTPing . This Blog is just one such idea.

Since just before Christmas 06 three things dawned on me:

A) I owe my life to Jesus Christ and my parents and then to myself, in that order
B) That I could be oh so nice or oh so pleasant, I recommend being pleasant.
C) God does not speak English.

These three things to me are the most important things in my life right now so to accept the things above allows me to take care of myself, my wife, and my parents and still be a nice person to other people when I can. It doesn’t however mean that I need to be nice to everyone all the time and that was what I was trying to do. To do that however, I was neglecting other people in my life and, most importantly, my God. It’s sort of a catch22 because although I’m a pretty nice guy, I’m only one man. No one can be expected to be ….oh…I don’t know…. let’s see….a Carpenter….and also be expected to please everyone on earth, it can’t be done. If I could do that I would be Christ like and I am far from that. Like I said, I’m only a man. So I am content with just being myself and taking care of my family as well. I do what I can for others and hope that they don’t expect too much. In the Bible it says that faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you don’t see. (Hebrews 11.1) Bad ass huh?

As far as my statement “God doesn’t speak English”; That dawned on me nearer the new year. As far back as I can remember the Bible was written in Ancient Aramaic, and then translated to Hebrew or the other way around, it doesn’t really matter. In any event, the people that Sailed the Ocean’s Blue in 1492 weren’t Arabian nor Jews or even rogue Romans. I believe they were Brittan’s who were fed up with the crappy laws in England.

They probably brought with them a beautifully embossed copy of the Bible and they incorporated several of the passages, including the Ten Commandments, into the laws that we now know today, like our Constitution and Bill of Rights because the Bible has always been based upon faith, fairness and truth. It’s because of this statement alone that I could care less if people cuss, it’s what they mean by their words that counts. People in politics today have forgotten all of this, at least at the highest levels. (Have I told you all this story? Anyway)

Intellectually I see nothing wrong, nor do I think God would, if you privately told your wife or husband that you wanted to fuck them tonight. However, if you were in an argument and said the same thing it would have a completely different meaning and would be against your partner and God. The same thing can be said for the words “hit on”. Now, “hit on” are not cuss words in English but if used in a hurtful way they are against another person and against God.

This may be hard for some of you to grasp and I apologize. The only way for me to explain is to stick to my opening and the 1492 thing, just think about it. Americans have messed up so many things already and it’s coming to the time that we are going to have to pay the fiddler. That’s probably an expression that you younger folk don’t know but you will come to learn. It comes from a Mother Goose poem The Pied Piper. Read it some time, it teaches us that eventually we all pay the price for following the wrong person blindly.

Well, to all of my friends, “you know who”, oh yeah and lil Jimmy with the gimpy leg, when I have the time I will post again about my religion but rest assured that Lazlo’s heart is alive and well and doing fine. Oh sure, my spinal cord still sucks but I can’t complain, I have a new member on my medical staff, and he doesn’t have a medical license :-)


Ok, it’s.. Jesus Christ…….…goddamn……....you people…..….waddaya stupid ovade?

That’s The Lazlo Report for January 30, 2007

What’s wrong with today’s schools top scoring and the students not understanding their assignments?

In my day there used to be HOMEWORK. When a child is sent home with homework, I thought anyway, the parent had to help the child work on an assignment everyday until he or she got it done, or the smart ones just did their own homework so they can go out and play OR turn on the TV, and now a days turn on the computer and hit the chat rooms or still go out and visit friends. Na, who am I kidding, they hit the chat rooms.

But that homework is then turned in the next day and time is taken to go over every student’s homework by the teacher during part of an hour long class while the students are reading for the next day’s homework. Then, near the end of that class, the teacher picks the best & the worst of the papers to go over some of the questions & areas that were missed & picked up the most.

This process was done in almost every classroom in almost every school and these were not all ½ hour long elective classes either. All classes were one hour, making school nine hours long, with a one hour lunch, just like a job is, so going to school is just like it’s going to be when these High School’ers are let loose on the world with little or no education.

The Teachers need to stop bitching about the pay that they get for now and once we get Congress to understand what it’s going to take to do everything I just described; the paper to copy the homework, the extra hour long classes, more air conditioning, more lighting which means more electricity. And since the classrooms are already over crowded you might as well throw in a teacher’s Aid in each Math, English and Spelling class. And that isn’t going to be cheep so hang onto your skivvies on that one, ok boys.

And that’s not the problem, the problem starts at home, with the parents who are supposed to be helping our children learn too. But Oh no, we just think we can send them off to school and someone else will do the job because we have paid for this in our taxes or for some other dumb ass reason. Wake up people!! What ever happened to the PTA? All I see is that the once proud Parents-Teachers Association is now disbanded all over the Nation and it is now a joke all over the web. That seems to be funny to allot of today's youth. Funny, well, you will laugh last my small minded friends. And what ever happened to a parent helping their own child, actually sitting down with that kid and saying “hey son or daughter, how can I help today?” Is that so far gone that I am some sort of stranger in my own country? I thought that this was America, the land of the brightest and the best.

I’ll tell ya, in the past twenty years I’ve seen it go from the brightest and the best to the wacky & worst and now the lame and lost.

That’s the Lazlo Report for Wednesday, January 10th 2007