He's a Maniac and he is Al Gore

It’s fever he a maniac

Go ahead, hum the song; Al Gore, our former Vice President actually came up with the idea that our planet has a fever. What the fuck is he talking about? Our planet not only doesn’t have a fever but his whole theory of Global Worming is starting to sound like a ploy.

The real truth is that our sun, you know that big ass star that keeps us warm every day, hasn’t been so warm in 8,000 years and is now coming into another cycle in which it gets hotter on the earth. Every planet in our solar system is also getting warmer too. They don’t mention that in their presentation either. So are there humans on Mars driving big rigs and spewing out carbon dioxide there too? No it’s the Sun! It’s a combination of the two and MR. Gore conveniently suppresses that portion of the news.

The ploy that I am talking about is that he doesn’t think that humans, or more precise Americans, are part of the solution. So he wants the text books to be changed to say that WE, humans, are the problem and not the solution. That is the way that socialists and other Europeans think and people like movie stars can take that way of thinking and stick it up their ass.

It was that sort of thinking that made us leave England over 230 years ago and I’ll be damned if a bunch of mambie pambie socialistic tree huggers are going to change this Country into another France. France doesn’t even have a decent Marine Corp that can land on a beach without getting stuck in the mud whiles our men and women our getting killed in the name of Freedom in Iraq.

Freedom is not cheep and we have paid for it dearly; with our pain, with our dollars and with our men and women’s lives. For these people to come in and to change the rules mid stream is a travesty not only to our men and women in the field but to our Nation as a whole. Oh, I’m not saying anything that you haven’t heard before but it needs to be said over and over again.

The best Presidents that we have ever had have figured out that to succeed in office that they must understand that our forefathers stood with Jesus Christ and that they must do so themselves. Look at the denigration of our morality in the nation when Clinton was in office and when Bush became President he became a born again Christian because he understood that his forefathers we so entrenched in Christianity. Now look at the morality of the nation and tell me it hasn’t changed. But I digress


The planet may even be cooling and we don’t even know it. For all we know the iron that some very smart scientists have put into our oceans may have cooled down the waters and their plan may even work; we don’t know. There are several plans in the works but many of them are just nutty; this one however isn’t and it’s about creating microscopic marine plants in the Southern Ocean that may have played a pivotal role in the Earth's climate during past ice ages, explained Mark Brzezinski, professor of biology and deputy director of the Marine Science Institute at the University of California, Santa Barbara. These are some of the plans that are coming from the award winning, Nobel Prize Winning scientists in the scientific community but on the other hand no one else seems to have a better plan other than the Al Gore’s of the world so I am going to have to go with these guys.

Actually some of their plans aren’t all that far fetched such as putting a large sun block of sorts over the ice caps but to do so it would take monumental work on the world space community and I doubt that everybody would help, especially France. They just want the USA to go away. But if we had twenty space shuttles with supplies to build curtains with solar panels on them and a basic vinyl in between, we could probably build something in the magnitude of the size of the State of Texas.

It will take people allot smarted than me to figure all of this out but I’ll bet a dollar to a doughnut that I’m right and that this one may work. I’ll also bet that the iron in the ocean, building small tiny plants will turn out to be quite the big news in the future and that this will be our children’s new hope.

Well that’s the Lazlo Report for March 24, 2007

Bartender Beaten

In the days of Al Capone the was a saying that “you can get more with a smile and a gun than with just a smile”; well in today’s world that has changed into a fist. The other day an off duty Copper beat the shit out of a 25 year old bar tender in a down town bar called Jessy’s Down Town Beat.

As it turns out this police officer is connected to the mob somehow and had someone go into the bar and offer this young lady some money not to prosecute. They also went in and tried telling her that if she said anything that they would plant drugs in her car and the car of the bar owner. What the fuck!

Has Chicago gone too far or what? Is the state of the Country going south and has the morality of the Country gotten to the brink of breaking down? I think that whether they are Republicans or Democrats, and the latter of the two are the worst, that there are corrupt people in all sectors of our government. We need to find them and get them out. Finding them is harder than it sounds.

I know that this sounds harsh but since President Clinton and him getting his dick sucked in the Oval Office, the morality in the country has started to go down hill. We need to do things to change this. Believing in a God is NOT a bad thing. Being told that man is destroying this planet is not the solution to our problems. We can fix the problems of the world if we stick together and work as one people and one Nation Under God as our Forefather wrote so many years ago. America is a good place and we are good people with good intentions.

God bless America.

I hope that the Bartender gets better and that she prosecutes to the fullest extent of the law. She deserves that. These thugs that perpetrated the crime need to go to jail and it’s this reporter’s opinion hat organized crime may have it’s place in places like the crap hole town that I live in since some of the Coppers (not all, just about 5%) here can be bought off is you can offer enough money to their special pedestrian funds or the Just Say No programs but I’m a realist and I fail to prescribe to that sort of intimidation.

No, sorry folks, for me I’ll stick with Jesus Christ and the righteous crusade that he was making before people just couldn’t handle his message on taking care of each other. Knowing humans though I’m sure that someone will have already figured out how to make buck on that and pushed Jesus out of hat too and that someone will have already figured out how to charge money for the services.

That’s the Lazlo Report for March 23, 2007

A Life In The Day

A day in my life usually starts with me waking up to the sounds of my wife getting ready for work. She starts this ritual around 6:30 am but the alarm has been going off for about a hour. The dog has also been trying to wake us up, or her shall I say, by using his nose to nestle in between the sheets and put that cold old thing on her as she tries to sleep; me I’m already half awake but I’m trying not to appear so because Joe our dog will come straight over to me.

As she’s dressing Joe tears at her cloths as a sort of a tug of war game and although she always wins he always adds an extra twenty minutes to her getting ready for work too. Next, after she’s kissed me good-bye Joe sets his sights on me and is fully active in the “I’ve got to wake them all up” department of his life. He gets me up between 8:30 and 9:00 depending if I had a bad day the day before and on his more generous days he seems to think that having wet paws is a blessing that I think is funny. Well I don’t Joe and if someone is reading this to you then please stop it.

I always have time in the morning for a little love for Joe using my hands and sort of cooing him; going back and forth using the back of my hand to make sure that he doesn’t bite me and just sort of petting him and rubbing the under side of his chin. He seems to like that and so do I.

I taught him two games since having so much time alone one of which is called “Catchin-dee-Air”. All you have to do is to put a rhythmic sound to it as I did and any dog can learn it; bee-bop sort of. “I take the ball and throw it and you catch it in the air, if you wanna play the game then you catch it in the air”. Just put it to music as I did and your dog will love it too, well maybe, I don’t know mine did.

Another game that I play with Joe in the mornings is Underdacovers. I put the same rhythmic sounds to playing this game and he seems to go crazy over what is under the covers, which are just my hands. He thinks it’s some sort of spider but its fun for the both of us.

By noon my day has taken form of what may seem to be the good life to many but to me I am bored shitless just having two dogs and an occasional phone call to talk to. Oh I write my blogs and I build web sites which is more than a lot of people do with their lives when on Disability in this day and age but I used to do so much more within a day that I almost feel obligated to do more, hmm…guess not.

Anywho, I check in with my wife and she always brightens my day with her telling me something about how her day is going or her telling me that I have to do something around the house, almost like orders for the day. It feels good to be needed ya know. So by 2:00 I am again task-less and looking forward to her arrival at around 5:pm but still thinking of her as I do almost every day.

Just about ten minutes before then, or before she gets home, both dogs go outside toward the back gate which is where we come in the house and they both sit and also wait on my wife. It’s funny to watch them do this every day. They hear the sound of her car engine as it rolls over the railroad tracks two blocks away and both come a whoppin and a hollerin, running throughout the house, nipping at every stuffed animal within an inch of it’s life. Now Joe, our small Cocker, has a problem with his piddlen everywhere and he gets pee all over the place when he gets excited. So here he is zipping around the house making little spots of pee everywhere when she isn’t even home. Needless to say that when she gets home I have to carry a couple of paper towels around and the both of us keep to the kitchen where there is linoleum until he calms down.

Meanwhile Crazy and Crazier are tearing around the house digging out every stuffed animal that I spent part of the day putting away and making pit stops into the kitchen to tinkle on our feet. We kiss and talk about how our days went.

After the dooters calm down my wife proceeds to change cloths and Joe is on the ready to help out again. He stands ready on the bed and as she disrobes he attacks he garments and shakes them violently. His favorite of course is her bra because of the Velcro or the elastic but none the less he runs around the house with it and if the neighbors ever came over at that moment it would be quite the scene.

Like most people my evenings are filled with a nice dinner, maybe some love making and that’s IF the dog doesn’t interrupt us, and then we’ll watch a movie or some TV. Very rarely do we ever fight and never do we go to bed mad at each other. This has been the success of our 22 year marriage and I am looking forward to writing another one of these columns on or at about our 50th anniversary.

I’ll tell ya, a day in my life may sound boring to some, it may sound exciting to others, it may even sound cliché, but to me it just sounds like just another day.

Such is the life of Terry L. Corwin aka Lazlo T. Hofstedder

That’s the Lazlo Report for March 20, 2007

Valerie Plame is a what

Valerie Plame finally talked today and I have been waiting to weigh in myself.

She says that she’s an agent for the US Government; oh yeah, she’s an agent, an for the Democrats and the Democratic Ticket willing to do anything and say anything so smear the President in this day and age.

She said that she didn’t send her husband to Africa to see who was buying Yellow Cake; (yellow cake is a form of low grade uranium mostly found near Niger) Well while I don’t have any evidence disputing thing I wouldn’t put it past the spies within our own government not to have had her send her husband as part of her “other job” and in doing so it was just a ploy to hurt the President regardless of how you look at it. She was used as a pawn like any other.

Understanding this whole game that they play there in Washington isn’t as hard as one might think. All you need is a vast collection of movies dating back to the 1930’s and a mind that will allow you to disconnect from reality when you need to. The people and players of these games are as real as the games that they play and Valerie Plame, while she may be a hottie to some, is just a bitter, Bush bashing blond with a new pink wardrobe hitting the circuits on Friday and no one is listening.

That’s the Lazlo Report for March 16, 2007

The Inconvenient bull

The Inconvenient Truth My Round American Butt

The Inconvenient bull, a pseudonym I came up with for the name of the movie made by the former Vice President of the United States who in his movie starts off by introducing himself by saying that he was our next former President WHICH HE WASN’T! Dude, you didn’t win, get over it, or is it Tipper crying every night saying “I wanted to be another Jackie”. Oh that woman gives me the heebie-jeebies with her putting content stickers on CDs and DVDs; what’s next Tipper, burning books?

I was sort of sympathetic to his cause to a point until it came it came to the part about the election in Florida in 2000. Now what the hell does that have to do with Global warming I ask you? Nothing! Al Gore lost that election fair and square and for him to make a video about global warming and then to come on and use it for propaganda about his left wing agenda is just down right dirty as usual , playing the same political games as the Clintons as taught by James Carville. And while we’re on the subject of him bullshitting us; he did not invent the internet.

The USSR's launch of Sputnik spurred the United States to create the Advanced Research Projects Agency (ARPA, later known as the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, or DARPA) in February 1958 to regain a technological lead. ARPA created the Information Processing Technology Office (IPTO) to further the research of the Semi Automatic Ground Environment (SAGE) program, which had networked country-wide radar systems together for the first time. J. C. R. Licklider was selected to head the IPTO, and saw universal networking as a potential unifying human revolution.
In 1950, Licklider moved from the Psycho-Acoustic Laboratory at Harvard University to MIT where he served on a committee that established MIT Lincoln Laboratory. He worked on the SAGE project. In 1957 he became a Vice President at BBN, where he bought the first production PDP-1 computer and conducted the first public demonstration of time-sharing.
Licklider recruited Lawrence Roberts to head a project to implement a network, and Roberts based the technology on the work of Paul Baran who had written an exhaustive study for the U.S. Air Force that recommended packet switching (as opposed to Circuit switching) to make a network highly robust and survivable. After much work, the first node went live at UCLA on October 29, 1969 on what would be called the ARPANET, one of the "eve" networks of today's Internet
Back then they just called it networking between colleges and they would play games like crude chess and transfer term papers and stuff like that. Networking is the bases for all programming and it’s how the internet works even today but just a bit more complicated and with a little more bells and whistles. Again it wasn’t the former Vice President or anyone like him that “invented” the internet, it invented itself and we, us old time geeks, made it happen.

Back in the early 1970’s however, Robert Metcalf over at Xerox, which couldn’t have been him either, (I don’t know Maybe Al Gore was a spy too) used to use a program called Ethernet. Mr. Metcalf invented it for the printers in the building but the network had to be fast enough to drive the very fast new laser printers; and it had to connect hundreds of computers within the same building. Never before had hundreds of computers been in the same building -- at that time no one had more than one, two or maybe three computers in operation on any one premise. In 1979 the guy that invented it went off on his own to promote his idea and mostly colleges went for it at first like flying geeks to a pond.

But there’s more to this story than me just ragging on Mr. Gore about his bull too. This claim about global warming is just way too slanted to my view as well. Ok, he says that in the past 650,000 years there has been a steady record of not going over a certain level of green house gases and at this point in history MAN has taken us to a point in which we are at way over the 300 mark and that scientists don’t dispute this figure.

A) No, they don’t dispute that we are over the 300ppm figure
B) Scientists all agree that man is warming the earth, ok I can go with him on that too.
C) Notice however that his same scientists don’t jump on board to his arbitrary 650,000 year figure. Why not measure 1 million years or two million years and see if there is the same spike somewhere and I’ll bet that there will be one somewhere soon for our future. I’ll bet that we’re looking at another ice age coming.
D) That figure that he came up with could be because we’re looking at a catastrophic volcano or an impact of a comet; he doesn’t mention that does he?
E) History always repeats itself and this spike is in somehow the reproduction of something in the past to be explained by science but he fails to mention any of this.

My feeling is that souls are being let out through the ozone into the heavens because the world is coming to an end and the world is too full of souls; up to over 6 billion plus. This sounds, like I said, a little strange but Hebrews 11:1 tells us that faith is something that you can’t see, it’s just something that you know is there; you either have it or you don’t.

Next he brought up the rising temperatures across the world but in particular what happened in the Gulf Coast and Hurricane Katrina. It seems that that’s about when he kicked in with his campaign bull**** and him loosing the election and what he would have done differently had he been president. Well first of all Mr. Gore, it wasn’t President Bush’s fault that a category 3-4 hurricane hit the Gulf Coast. It was a combination of events that culminated and escalated to the breaking point and their were many people to blame, least of which were the President in my opinion.

What I would like to know is that you and Bill Clinton were in office for EIGHT YEARS before it happened, what did you do to prevent this disaster or anything about global warming for that matter, Hmmm?. How will history write it’s final analysis about you and Bill Clinton when it comes to doing something about all of this mess during the eight years while you were in office, not the “projected” four years that you wanted to get into office because everyone wants to blame things on Bush.

Naturally three quarters of the way through Mr. Gore had to pay complement to his Chinese friends saying that they are “on the cutting edge of technology” when as we know he is still under investigation for campaign contribution problems by the feds and so is the Chinese that he speaks so highly of.

Well I’ve laid the ground work for many of you so please, spend the money and go out and spend your time watching this so called documentary when all it’s really about is Al Gore whining again that he didn’t win the 2000 election and that he and a very large group of today’s scientists believe that we’re all going to die soon and that somehow it’s all George Bush’s fault. Again, that’s my opinion and as they say in Apocalypse Now: “Opinions are like assholes Red, everybody got one”, or is that “You gotta die sometime Red”; I don’t know I get the two mixed up.

That’s the Lazlo Report for March 15th, 2007

Citgo Gas Report - March 2007

This is so important that I wasn’t to post it on the Lazlo report and have everyone copy and post it everywhere. Please DO IT!!


NEWS FLASH:

Hugo Chavez is NOW getting a Russian Weapons Factory built by Putin.


The RUSSIANS are building an AK-47 Kalashnikov Assault Rifle factory in Venezuela, to give armament support to Communist Rebel groups throughout the Americas.


Chavez NOW has IRANIANS operating his oil refineries in Venezuela for him. It is likely only a matter of time, if not already, before Chavez has Iranian built LONG RANGE missiles, with a variety of warhead types aimed at: Guess Who?


CITGO is NOW in the process of Changing Its Name to PETRO EXPRESS due to the loss of gasoline sales in the USA due to the recent publicity of ownership by Chavez of Venezuela


Every dollar you spend with CITGO or PETRO EXPRESS gasoline will be used against you, your basic human rights, and your freedom! He will start wars here in the Americas that will probably be the death of millions of free people.

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT because Chavez is starting to feel the loss of revenue from his holdings.

HE OWNS CITGO. This is a very important move that everyone should be aware of.ANNOUNCED JUST RECENTLY, CITGO, BEING AWARE THAT SALES ARE DOWN DUE TO U.S. CUSTOMERS NOT WANTING TO BUY FROM "CITGO-CHAVEZ", HAVE STARTED TO
CHANGE THE NAME OF SOME OF THEIR STORES TO: "PETRO EXPRESS"
DO NOT BUY FROM "PETRO EXPRESS "EITHER!!!

"PETRO EXPRESS" IS ALSO 100% OWNED BY "CHAVEZ." KEEP THIS MEMO GOING SO THAT EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT IS HAPPENING.

Like I say folks, Pass this on to as many people as you can and don’t buy this dude’s gas!!!

God bless

That’s the Lazlo Report for March 15th, 2007

Thompson for President

From Actor to Senator to President; I'm Game

Senator Fred Thompson is sending out an exploratory committee to see whether or not it would be viable for him to run for President in 2008. In my opinion he would not only be a good choice for President but he is probably the best choice we have for President.

Thompson, a Senator from Tennessee was born in Sheffield, Ala. in 1942. He attended Memphis State University in 1964 where he graduated; he was admitted to the Tennessee bar in 1967 and commenced the practice of law; was the assistant US attorney from 1969 to1972; minority counsel, Senate Select Committee on Presidential Campaign Activities (“Watergate Committee”) from 1973 to1974 (pretty impressive for a 21yrld); special counsel to Tennessee Governor Lamar Alexander in 1980; special counsel, Senate Committee on Foreign Relations from 1980 to1981; special counsel, Senate Intelligence Committee in1982; member, Tennessee Appellate Court Nominating Commission from 1985 to1987; actor; elected as a Republican to the United States Senate in the November 8, 1994, special election to fill the unexpired portion of the term ending January 3, 1997, left vacant by the resignation of Albert Gore, Jr.; took the oath of office on December 2, 1994; reelected in 1996 for the term ending January 3, 2003; not a candidate for reelection in 2002; held chair, Committee on Governmental Affairs (One Hundred Fifth and One Hundred Sixth Congresses; One Hundred Seventh Congress [January 20, 2001-June 6, 2001]); Mr. Thompson resumed his acting career.

So although Mr. Thompson no longer sits on any committees, even though he no longer works anywhere near Washington DC for that matter I would still not only vote for the man but I would campaign for him; and I’ll tell you why. Just look at the above resume’ and then watch him in action on the Senate floor, look at his track record in voting and last of all look at the difference between his acting and his government work face, there isn’t any, they’re the same which means that he’s incredibly honest or the perfect actor and there isn’t one. (you’ll have to get out the VCR to do what I just described)

Oh I’ve heard the stories about when Mr. Thompson was running for the Senate and he bought a brand new red pick up truck and drove around Tennessee with Al Gore following behind on his moped while Tipper rode the skate board, (she probably needed the exorcize anyway, don’t know wasn’t my joke) anyway supposedly one guy says ”ey man, wuts see shuuten dem dur trash bags fur anyhow?” My sincerest apologies to my friends in Tennessee for the past use of verbiage, it was completely unnecessary to get my point across but realism is just so fun sometimes. The reason for bringing that story up is that he had the will power to campaign in a state that he wasn’t born in.

Now you have to figure that if you were going to run for an office as high as Senator that you would run in the state in which you were born; heads up Mrs. Clinton. But Mr. Thompson ran against Al Gore who surprisingly was born in Washington DC so he was a transplant himself. Personally I think the reason he won that race was the same reason the Republicans were winning all over the US at the time and that was that the people were sick of the Clintons and anyone who were related to the Clintons. This however doesn’t explain Hilary’s climb up the ladder but that’s another story, one that I hope not to have to tell.

Today’s America is filled with too much debauchery; if you read some of my earlier blogs I have written plenty about it. I’ve written about the Seven Deadly Sins and how someone is messing with them. I’ve written about God and how much it means to me and how everyone should take a closer look at Him in their lives. I’ve written about allot of things but I’ve kept on track when it comes to my mission and that is to spread His word and to speak my mind on whatever issue is important to me on any given day. Well today it’s Fred Thompson and I think he should run for President.

From another blog site from which there were thousands of postings just like the following, this is just a random picken’s that I plucked out and copied:

“Fred Dalton Thompson is a man of integrity, strength of character, intelligence and experience. He was a great senator for Tennessee during his time in Washington. We were fortunate to have his wonderful service to our great Volunteer state. Our country would prosper and regain its military strength and world-wide respect under this great American as the leader of the free world”

So as you can see I’m not the only one that feels that Fred Dalton Thompson would make a great 47th President in 2008.

The only way to help this country is to not spend dollars outside of the US. Don’t go on vacation to Europe and give your money to the French or the Germans anymore. Don’t give it away to large corporations like Visa and MasterCard so that the money goes out of the country anyway; keep it here in the US where it belongs. Take your family to the Grand Canyon but drive there and stay at the mom & pop places. Spend your vacation money at small business’ that make America grow instead of making big business grow because those dollars of yours are not staying here in the US; they go to Saudi Arabia when you buy certain types of gasoline, they go down to butthole boy when you buy Citgo Gas and I think it’s only Atlantic Richfield who at least we’ve merged with the British Petroleum Company. If our dollars are going to go out of the US I rather see them go to the UK than the Middle East. Now, ask me why and it’s because of us having to spend so much money fighting a war on terror which is something that Fred Thompson also knows allot about.

Not just because he’s an actor and has played all of those really cool aircraft carrier movies, no; because he was on the Senate Select Intelligence Committee which are to the people who know their shit, to put it bluntly, a bad ass Senate-man. He’s dinned with world leaders and he’s been in our Strategic Command Center. He’s acted with the likes of the Baldwins to the Zegwellers and it cracks me up that in one person’s website I read that he always portrays a roll of the “big head redneck” where he comes to the rescue at the last minute usually in a military or political role. Hmmm, and that sometimes, even as he started his acting career, he played himself allot; well duh! That’s who he is, that’s what he does for a living, or did anyway.

With any help though he’ll be back and hopefully he can make a few extra dollars making a movie called “While I Was in Office” and I can help produce it. We’ll keep it under wraps until the Senator is out of office and then show off his amazing talents for bringing down the Taliban once and for all, paying off the National debt, bringing down gasoline prices and then seeking out and destroying our worst enemy, well ok we’ll leave old Hillary alone.

That’s the Lazlo Report for March 12, 2007

American Idol Too

By the way, you're welcome for the free advertising but that's not the reason for part two. Ny reason for part two is that that for some reason the judges think that by kissing America's ass' that they are going to start to vote better and start to just vote by voice quality alone.

WRONG!!!

Nothing could be further from the truth my friends. As we sit here behind our glass plated shields each week we want to hear the truth from them not a bunch of ass kissing, racially motivated crap coming out of their mouths because of your producers having to fight off law suits because Simon saying something stupid to a fat person or any three to a person of other color.

Be real and America won't vote in stupid people and you won't have to act like you're surprised each week there Judgareno's.

That's The Lazlo Report for March 9th, 2007

American Idol is Rigged, in My Opinion

Up until 2003 or 4 the TV show American Idol was a show that did a fine job of judging young people on their talent in singing in a singing competition show. That all changed with the onset of the automatic dialer, something that anyone with half a brain can download off of the Internet. This was never so apparent when last year the public voted an almost fully gray hair man named Taylor Hicks as its American Idol.

During the show Hicks sang songs that boarded on living room performances and at best lounge acts at the local Travel Lodge. As time went on and with the help of the producers at Fox he got better and I feel that he obtained the status of maybe an opening act to someone else on American Idle but truly no one of no real stature and certainly no big name venue. Bare in mind that Fox and it’s producers like Nigel Lythgoe and Simon Cowell are looking for marketability in the future and record sales too. They weren’t counting on some old guy and this fictitious “soul patrol” as Randy Jackson coined the phrase to catch on but then they underestimated the power of the Internet as well.

In one such part of the plot; On the April 25th show, whose theme was Greatest Love Songs and featured guest coaches Andrea Bocelli and David Foster, executive producer Nigel Lythgoe forced contestant Taylor Hicks to change his song a day before air time (and the same day as the dress rehearsal). Hicks' chosen song was "Try a Little Tenderness," but Lythgoe, in a radio interview, claimed the song was more appropriate for a Blues Brothers week and was not a song that Andrea Bocelli would sing. Hicks changed his song at the last minute to "Just Once" (James Ingram) and appeared very uncomfortable on stage. Hicks fans were distressed, feeling that a) Hicks' original choice of song was very appropriate to the theme; b) The producers changed the song at the last minute even though they must have known Hicks' choice the previous week as they must obtain clearance for all songs; c) Lythgoe's statement that it was not a song Andrea Bocelli would sing was dubious, as other song choices that were approved were songs sung by Bryan Adams ("Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman," sung by Chris Daughtry) and Donny Hathaway ("A Song for You," sung by Elliott Yamin)

So why did he do that; was it because they could obviously see that the people were voting for this no name person no matter what they did and there was nothing they could do about it?...well yeah..duh But it didn’t do any good and pushing for Elliott Yamin which we all could see that the judges were doing did no good at all.

I mean he was pretty good and everything but he wasn’t the best of the group either. Everyone who watched the show last year knows for sure that the winner should have been Chris Daughtry, but that’s not what this blog is about. It’s about whether or not the American Idol contest is rigged and whether or not you believe it.

This year there’s also obvious bios when it comes to female vocalists, whether it be with the public or the judges or both. It’s obvious to me at least that between the three judges that they only prefer African American females and as for the males there is no preference. Not that I’m calling anyone a racist but it’s clear that the first to go are the white girls this year regardless of their singing abilities and regardless of their marketabilities. There’s also, because of other prior threat of law suits I suppose, one person of size picked again this year for the third time that I can recall. There was Ruben then Mandisa and now Lakisha. In between Ruben and Mandisa I believe there was the threat of a law suit from the Large Persons of America or something like that.

I think that a couple of years ago the bulk of America with the power if the Internet behind them figured out that the first part of the show was scripted like a sit-com. You’ll have your over-weight but great singing person that Simon makes a joke about at first and then has to apologize to later on.

Then you’ll have the cutesy blond or brunette who makes silly comments and makes us all laugh early enough on so that the audience just loves her. It could be two of them but they get kicked off anyway.

Then you’ll have the adorable young heart throb. Last year we had 'Chicken Little' and this year it’s Sanjaya Malakar who frankly I have no nickname for without sounding racist myself. There are some out there though that I heard but I’m not posting them.. Well ok, I think if thirty million people can watch him sing then I can just pray that half that many will be pissed that I made a bad joke with his name. Ok; Camel Singer and we’ll leave it at that. My point is that they’ll always have the cute young boy for the teenie-girls to go for and then he’ll get voted off for sure.

Next you’ll have the bitch. Last year; Brenda, this year, can anyone say “God loves good people”? My goodness how sacrilegious can you get; and on National TV?

So what can be done? What is the answer for the producers that came up with the rules that you can call as many times as you want for your favorite contestant. Well I have a suggestion for them now that the cat is out of the bag, presuming that they know about this little glitch in their system and presuming that they even care; come up with their own telephone answering that detects any one telephone number calling in more than, let say, 50 times and let that be the limit on how may times each telephone or IP address can cast a vote. With the advent of high speed internet it’s possible to set a computer to redial for two hours and get in probably 2,000 votes and if you times that by a consortium of 200 geeks that equals 400,000 votes. Just think if it were 2,000 geeks or more. Remember as I said in the beginning of this blog, you can download this sort of program or buy it for $39.00 just about anywhere.

I don’t know who’s going to win this year’s American Idol. All of the men seem like they are winners, my money’ on Blake. The girls are all pretty good too. What it looks like is that the producers are on to what I just described above but instead of taking the honest route however they chose to take the usual Hollywood approach and played it as they always do. Reverse bigotry and putting in only talented people. No goofs this year, except for maybe Sanjaya but he does have a pretty nice voice, just not American Idol standards. America has the choice to make this year; embarrass us again or don’t, it’s that simple in my opinion.

If you’re gonna pick someone for American Idol then pick someone who is an excellent singer, can draw them in the stadiums, can WOW them in record sales and is someone who America aspires to look like. That’s what an “Idol” is, Get it? “I.D.O.L.” look it up in the dictionary, man. An idol is something that you worship so much that you wish you could become that in which you idolize. Now do you know anyone that wants to look like Ruben Studdard? Or look like Taylor Hicks? I didn’t think so. Sound like them sure.

And what is this crap tonight’s about the girls sounding better than the guy’s last night? Randy Jackson; Are you smoking dope Dude? The guys last night did a great job and Jordan, while doing an ok job with her song wasn’t high enough with her rendition of her Pat Benitar song for me. And last night the judges not knowing a 311 song when here in Ohio we, at age 48, we all know it? What’s up with that?

There seems to be something wrong with Idol and like I said I think it’s rigged… or just plain broke. In this case, if it’s broke, please fix it!

That’s the Lazlo Report for March 7, 2007

No More Scandal 4 The DNC

Back in 1997 there was still a problem with their campaign financing that hasn’t gone away. Oh sure, it’s out of the news, the main stream media has forgotten about it, but not me. I’m still on the case because I don’t want Hillary Clinton, or even an adopted child of the Clintons, knowing that their red-headed real child ain’t gonna run and if she did ain’t no body gonna vote for her either.
In mid-1995, the President and his strategists decided that they needed to raise and spend many millions of dollars over and above the permissible limits of the Presidential campaign funding law if the President was going to be reelected. They devised a legal theory to support their needs and proceeded to raise and spend $44 million in excess of the Presidential campaign spending limits.

The lengths to which the Clinton/Gore campaign and the White House-controlled Democratic National Committee were willing to go in order to raise this amount of money is essentially the story of the 1996 Presidential campaign scandal. The President and his aides demeaned the offices of the President and Vice President, took advantage of minority groups, pulled down all the barriers that would normally be in place to keep out illegal contributions, pressured policy makers, and left themselves open to strong suspicion that they were selling not only access to high-ranking officials, but policy as well. Millions of dollars were raised in illegal contributions, much of it from foreign sources. When these abuses were discovered, the result was numerous Fifth Amendment claims, flights from the country, and stonewalling from the White House and the DNC.

Over a brief period of three months of hearings, the Committee was able to fulfill its responsibility in laying out the available facts to the American people. A much clearer picture of what happened during the 1996 Presidential campaign has been developed and presented.

However, many questions remain unanswered. It is now the responsibility of the Attorney General or, more appropriately, an independent counsel to take these facts and aggressively pursue any and all indications of criminal wrong-doing. Indeed, the three most important legal developments to come out of the 1996 campaign finance scandal are all attributable to the investigation conducted by the Committee on Governmental Affairs. First, Yah Lin “Charlie” Trie, an associate of the President, has been indicted for, among other things, obstruction of the Committee’s investigation. Second, Maria Hsia, a prominent Democratic fundraiser, has been indicted for laundering campaign contributions that were a focus of the Committee’s inquiry. Finally, the Attorney General has requested appointment of an independent counsel to determine whether Secretary of the Interior Bruce Babbitt lied to the committee.

Despite the delaying tactics of the White House and DNC, the Committee developed a great deal of information in a relatively short period of time. Large numbers of documents had been received from many sources, and depositions and interviews were being conducted. In addition, on June 6, 1997, three members of the majority staff, two detailed FBI agents, and one member of the minority staff undertook an investigative trip to Hong Kong, Taiwan, Macao, and Indonesia to collect information and interview witnesses.

They succeeded in giving the American people a boat load of information that would normally never have become public in the absence of the Committee’s investigation. It was not always the Committee itself that released the information, but it was the Committee that was responsible for the release of it. Example; the White House released allot of information to the media before giving it to the Committee. None of that would have been publicly disclosed without the Committee’s demands for the information from the White House. Giving clearance to the public’s right to know, more than offering assuptions and conjectures and /or reaching any political heights, was really the job of the special investigation, and the Committee if they succeeded in satisfying this first purpose.

A second reason for the inquiry and hearings was to fully lay out the operation of the current framework for Federal elections. For Congress to legislate and govern effectively, it must conduct routine oversight to learn how the government is functioning. Congress also has a responsibility to examine the operation of current laws on the government and private parties. This Committee is particularly well-suited to conduct such a broad oversight inquiry into the multifarious elements of this scandal because it has the broadest oversight jurisdiction in the Senate: “to study or investigate the efficiency and economy of operations of all branches of the Government.”

When the 105th Congress convened in early January 1997, Senator Fred Thompson (RTN) was confirmed as the chairman of the Committee. On January 7, 1997, Chairman Thompson named Hannah Sistare as staff director of the Committee and hired Michael J. Madigan, a partner in the Washington, D.C., law firm of Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld, to serve as chief counsel for the special investigation into campaign fundraising abuses in the 1996 elections. Senator John Glenn (D-OH) was selected as the ranking minority member of the Committee, and he named former Senate Legal Counsel Michael Davidson to serve as minority chief counsel for the special investigation.

Of perhaps equal importance to the information the Committee was gathering, however, was the information the Committee was unable to obtain. Thirty-five witnesses with information relevant to the Committee’s investigation asserted the Fifth Amendment right against selfincrimination and refused to testify and/or produce documents in response to a Committee subpoena. In late June, the Committee began considering whether to grant immunity to some of the witnesses who had invoked their Fifth Amendment right. On June 27, the Committee voted to confer immunity on four witnesses. On July 23, the Committee voted to immunize another five witnesses. Thus, the Committee voted to immunize nine witnesses, five of whom eventually testified in open session during the Committee’s hearings. An additional ten potential witnesses fled the country and were beyond the Committee’s ability to issue legal process. The Committee was unable to contact any of these individuals during the staff’s foreign trip. While the Committee was able to interview a number of foreign witnesses during that trip, 12 potential foreign witnesses who were contacted refused requests for interviews, among whom were some of the most important, including James Riady and Ng Lap Seng.

Now, while this all sounds like the plot to an epesode to an old Roky and Bulwikle with agents being put into the back of a black car and shuffled off in hopes of finding the key to the Upsadaisium mind only to find that their plans are spoiled by “Moose und Squirle” even when mines go off from nearby hhsshhaboomerum, it isn’t it is a very real investigation with very real people that have commotied crimes. They just want you to think it’s not real and that what they did was funny in some way; well I’m not laughing and you shouldn’t either.
So if you’re courious yourself and want to look into this, please do so. In the meanwhile I plan to keep you abreast of the sitsuation as it comes up in this blog. I will post more as I come across it and I wont hold anything back.

By the way, at the top I have writen an address for you to contact the Whitehouse. Do so and contact someone and demand that something still be done. I did.

That’s The lazlo Report for March 6, 2007

Joke Page 2

This page, like the other joke page, will be updated once in a while with new jokes at the top pushing the older ones down and keeping all of them.
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(This joke just cracked me up and I know that I don't normally don't post on the weekednd but I had to post this from my Aunt in Texas)

Last week while in Westbrook, Maine, I purchased a burger and fries at McDonalds for $3.58.

The counter girl took my $4.00 and I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies. While looking at the screen on her register, I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried.

Why do I tell you this?

Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s:

Teaching Math In 1950

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

Teaching Math In 1960

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

Teaching Math In 1970

A logger sells a truckload of l umber for $100. His cost of production is $80.

Did he make a profit?

Teaching Math In 1980

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20

Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

Teaching Math In 1990

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living?

Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers.)

Teaching Math In 2007

Un ranchero vende una carretera de madera para $100. El cuesto de la produccion era $80. Cuantos tortillas se puede comprar

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These are so cool that I had to re-post them from an email from my sister Dotty: *************************************************************************************

We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," where:

:) means a smile and

:( is a frown.

Sometimes these are represented by

:-)

:-(

Well, how about some "ASSICONS?"
Here goes:


(_!_) a regular ass


(__!__) a fat ass


(!) a tight ass


(_*_) a sore ass


{_!_} a swishy ass


(_o_) an ass that's been around
(_x_) kiss my ass


(_X_) leave my ass alone


(_zzz_) a tired ass


(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

(_2+1=4_) a Dumb Ass 1

(_$_) Money coming out of his ass

(_?_) Dumb Ass 2

You have just been e-mooned!

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Once upon a time there lived a king. The king had a beautiful daughter, the PRINCESS.


But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt. No matter what;

metal,
wood,
stone,

anything she touched would melt.
Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.
The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?
He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king,
"If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured."
The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan.

The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth.

THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.
The first brought a sword of the finest steel.
But alas, when the princess touched it, it melted.
The prince went away sadly.
The second prince brought diamonds.
He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt.
But alas, once the princess touched them, they melted.
He too was sent away disappointed.
:-[
The third prince approached. He told the princess, "Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there."

The princess did as she was told, though she turned red.

She felt something hard. She held it in her hand. And it did not melt!!!

The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed.

And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.


Question: What was in the prince's pants?






(Scroll down for the answer)










M&M's of course.
They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
What were you thinking??

Dog Tripper

In the need for a quick subject for a blog I asked the Lord this afternoon on what to write about and he told me to write about the pain in my back and what happened when I tripped over the dog.

By now you all know that I am disabled with severe spinal damage. I take an array of pills to kill the pain but in fact the pain will never go away and as of four or five months ago when my safe got stolen my doctor took me off of Oxycontin. I wish I had something for the heavy pain but for now I have some muscle relaxers and then there’s always been Tylenol® Extra Strength. I also have some pretty cool not ready for primetime patches that numb up the area pretty good and those too are prescription. The drugs I take are designed to take away as much of the spinal pain on a scale of 1 to 10 and up until this morning I was at a 3-1/2.

The problem today however wasn’t just my normal back pain. No, it was my overly loved and overly fed dog named George who had to lay right in the path in which I was walking. Naturally I, being the klutz that I am, tripped over him, knocked over the lamp and landed on the edge of the end table putting the full force of my 235 pound body, loosing one of my shoes in the process.

Luckily for me, and Praise the Lord, I see my spinal specialist this coming Monday so I’m pretty sure that it isn’t necessary to have the dog put to sleep or have my hips put in a full body wrap. I’ll stick with putting on the Lidoderm patches and taking the medicine as directed. Now my little dog Joe, now he’s another story, now he can drive me crazy as he’s doing right now. Just picking up after him is like picking up after a two year old child and anyone who’s had one can attest to that, I know I can. I don’t want to get the animal rights people on me but Joe is another one who I’d like to skin once in a while too, he just doesn’t sleep under my feet. He has other habits too icky to mention on a blog.

So the Lord gave me something to write about today which is good. My back feels like crap which is bad. The pain meds are working which is good.. America is spending too much money on keeping illegal aliens out without doing a very good job at it which is bad. My wife is and has been the best wife a man could ask for in the twenty-two years that we’ve been married, that’s really good….well I could go on and on. Oh yeah and about putting the dog to sleep; I wouldn’t do that, his meat is too tough and we don’t eat dog anymore anyway.

See ya'll on Monday

That’s the Lazlo Report for March 1, 2007

Lazlo on the MPAA

So how is God working through me still I thought. Well as I watched the movie “The Film Is Not Yet Rated” I came to the conclusion that I could do a blog on the subject of movie ratings and let everyone know that what they do is a complete farce and that there is just a handful of companies like Sony and G.E. that run the movie industry for the entire United States.

So as not to be sued I have intentionally not put links to anyone in the industry that could result in such action, just ones that will give free advertising. I’ll let you be the judge in the next few paragraphs as top my motives but as I’ve said my mission in life right now is to serve God almighty and to inform as many people in as few words as possible.

According to the MPAA, the movie ratings system is a voluntary system operated by the MPAA and the National Association of Theater Owners (NATO). The ratings are given by a board of parents who comprise the Classification and Rating Administration (CARA). CARA?s Board members view each film and, after a group discussion, vote on its rating. The ratings are intended to provide parents with advance information so they can decide for themselves which films are appropriate for viewing by their own children. The Board uses the same criteria as any parent making a judgment ? theme, language, violence, nudity, sex and drug use are among content areas considered in the decision-making process.

So who is the National Association of Theater Owners; I went to their site and looked around a little but as far as an explanation as to who they really are and what they do there really isn’t much proof as to what they really do. It’s sort of a secret I think. Oh they have a website, and they have all the usual click this and click here’s but as far as a honest to God real explanation as to who they answer to and how far up on the food chain they are as far as corporate food chain goes, that is not going to happen. There’s also no transparency as to who runs place, who’s on the boards, who rates the films or any such information.

According to them, the National Association of Theatre Owners is the largest exhibition trade organization in the world, representing more than 29,000 movie screens in all 50 states, and additional cinemas in more than 40 countries worldwide. Their membership includes the largest cinema chains in the world and hundreds of independent theatre owners too. Headquartered in Washington, D.C., with a second office in North Hollywood, California, NATO represents its members in the heart of the nation's capital as well as the center of the entertainment industry. From these vantage points, NATO helps exhibition influence federal policy-making and work with movie distributors on all areas of mutual concern, from new technologies to legislation, marketing, and First Amendment issues. Hmm, I’m a little hazy on them looking out for my “First Amendment Issues.”

And who is CARA anyway; Now their website, a dot org, told me absolutely nothing. There were other websites out there but none that were linked with a dot org. I’m not sure if I am purposely being misled and the actual website is somewhere else but I can’t go posting every frigging Google hit that I get and the Lord, I don’t think would call me on this one. Anyway I’m sure that there’s no major conspiracy here, just the same thing as the MPAA and the NATO board in that the members of the board and the people that rate the films are kept secret.

My only problem with this whole process is that what they’ve done is put violence before sex here in America and that has become policy. If you watch Pulp Fiction, and granted it’s a good movie, that should have received an NC-17 rating while the movie But I’m Only A Cheerleader should have only gotten an R rating.

First of all Cheerleaders had no nudity, had very little cussing and it dealt with a teenager going through a problem that many teenager go though at a tough time in their life. Now on the other hand we have Pulp Fiction that has a bizarre plot, it has gratuitous drug use, gratuitous rape and is filled with gratuitous. Not only is the rape scene gratuitous but it’s homosexual rape. Now how did that happen and it still get an R rating. Now I’m a man of God and all but who’s sucking who’s dick to get that?

It seems to me that if you’re a lesbian in Hollywood these days and you’re trying to produce a movie you’re just shit out of luck. Wow, was that me that just typed that, a man of God. Yep…uh huh uh huh. Look, I have nothing against anyone be them lesbians or gay or whatever but when someone is discriminated against, especially in Hollywood, those Godless heathens, someone needs to stand up and say something. Well this is my forum to do so. It’s also my forum to get to the bottom of the rating system and, well, I digress….

Ah crap where was I..oh yeah. The following is a letter written by Jack Valenti. I will not change a word nor even letter of it. If there is or was a link on it I disabled it, sorry I had to so I could protect myself from lawsuit Since I am not charging money for this website to get in, since this is not a “pay site” and I am copying the following verbatim, I want you to try and decipher the bullshit if you can, at least in today’s standards". However with that said, to this man’s family I want to say that I am sorry for your loss. I’m sure that Mr. Valenti was a smart, funny, intelligent and one asskicking dude and I wish that I would have been honored to have met him. I know that someday I will in the kingdom of heaven, May God Bless:

HOW IT ALL BEGANBy Jack ValentiWhen I became president of the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) in May 1966, the slippage of Hollywood studio authority over the content of films collided with an avalanching revision of American mores and customs.By summer of 1966, the national scene was marked by insurrection on the campus, riots in the streets, rise in women's liberation, protest of the young, doubts about the institution of marriage, abandonment of old guiding slogans, and the crumbling of social traditions. It would have been foolish to believe that movies, that most creative of art forms, could have remained unaffected by the change and torment in our society.A New Kind of American MovieThe result of all this was the emergence of a "new kind" of American movie - frank and open, and made by filmmakers subject to very few self-imposed restraints.Almost within weeks in my new duties, I was confronted with controversy, neither amiable nor fixable. The first issue was the film "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf," in which, for the first time on the screen, the word "screw" and the phrase "hump the hostess" were heard. In company with the MPAA's general counsel, Louis Nizer, I met with Jack Warner, the legendary chieftain of Warner Bros., and his top aide, Ben Kalmenson. We talked for three hours, and the result was deletion of "screw" and retention of "hump the hostess," but I was uneasy over the meeting.It seemed wrong that grown men should be sitting around discussing such matters. Moreover, I was uncomfortable with the thought that this was just the beginning of an unsettling new era in film, in which we would lurch from crisis to crisis, without any suitable solution in sight.The second issue surfaced only a few months later.This time it was Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, and the Michelangelo Antonioni film "Blow-Up." I met with MGM's chief executive officer because this movie also represented a first - the first time a major distributor was marketing a film with nudity in it. The Production Code Administration in California had denied the seal of approval.I backed the decision, whereupon MGM distributed the film through a subsidiary company, thereby flouting the voluntary agreement of MPAA member companies that none would distribute a film without a Code seal.Finally, in April 1968, the U.S. Supreme Court upheld the constitutional power of states and cities to prevent the exposure of children to books and films that could not be denied to adults.It was plain that the old system of self-regulation, begun with the formation of the MPAA in 1922, had broken down. What few threads there were holding together the structure created by Will Hays, one of my two predecessors, had now snapped. From the very first day of my own succession to the MPAA President's office, I had sniffed the Production Code constructed by the Hays Office. There was about this stern, forbidding catalogue of "Dos and Don'ts" the odious smell of censorship. I determined to junk it at the first opportune moment.I knew that the mix of new social currents, the irresistible force of creators determined to make "their" films and the possible intrusion of government into the movie arena demanded my immediate action.Within weeks, discussions of my plan for a movie rating system began with the president of the National Association of Theatre Owners (NATO) and with the governing committee of the International Film
Importers & Distributors of America (IFIDA), an assembly of independent producers and distributors.Over the next five months, I held more than 100 hours of meetings with these two organizations, as well as with guilds of actors, writers, directors and producers, with craft unions, with critics, with religious organizations, and with the heads of MPAA member companies

By early fall, I was ready. My colleagues in the National Association of Theatre Owners joined with me in affirming our objective of creating a new and, at the time, revolutionary approach to how we would fulfill our obligation to the parents of America.My first move was to abolish the old and decaying Hays Production Code. I did that immediately. Then on November 1, 1968, we announced the birth of the new voluntary film rating system of the motion picture industry, with three organizations, NATO, MPAA, and IFIDA, as its monitoring and guiding groups.The initial design called for four rating categories:G for General Audiences, all ages admitted;M for mature audiences - parental guidance suggested, but all ages admitted;R for Restricted, children under 16 would not be admitted without an accompanying parent or adult guardian; (later raised to under 17 years of age, (and varies in some jurisdictions));X for no one under 17 admitted.The rating system trademarked all the category symbols, except the X. Under the plan, anyone not submitting his or her film for rating could self apply the X or any other symbol or description, except those trademarked by the rating program.Our original plan had been to use only three rating categories, ending with R. It was my view that parents ought to be able to accompany their children to any movie the parents choose, without the movie industry or the government or self-appointed groups interfering with their rights. But NATO urged the creation of an adults only category, fearful of possible legal redress under state or local law. I acquiesced in NATO's reasoning and the four category system, including the X rating, was installed.So, the emergence of the voluntary rating system filled the vacuum provided by my dismantling of the Hays Production Code

The movie industry would no longer "approve or disapprove" the content of a film, but we would now see our primary task as giving advance cautionary warnings to parents so that parents could make the decision about the moviegoing of their young children. CHANGES IN THE RATING SYSTEM We found early on that the M category (M meaning "Mature") was regarded by most parents as a sterner rating than the R category. To remedy this misconception, we changed the name from M to GP (meaning General audiences, Parental guidance suggested). A year later we revised the name to its current label, "PG: Parental Guidance Suggested."On July 1, 1984, we made another adjustment. We split the PG category into two groupings, PG and PG-13. PG-13 meant a higher level of intensity than was to be found in a film rated PG. Over the past years, parents have approved of this amplifying revision in the rating system.On September 27, 1990, we announced two more revisions. First, we introduced brief explanations of why a particular film received its R rating. Since, in the opinion of the Ratings Board, R rated films contain adult material, we believed it would be useful to parents to know a little more about that film's content before they allowed their children to accompany them. Sometime later we began applying the explanations in the PG, PG-13 and NC-17 categories as well. These explanations are available to parents at the theater (by telephone or at the box office), in certain media reviews and listings, and also made available on the MPAA's World Wide Web Home Page on the Internet. This internet address is http://www.mpaa.org. Second, we changed the name of the X category to NC-17:NO ONE 17 AND UNDER ADMITTED. The X rating over the years appeared to have taken on a surly meaning in the minds of many people, a meaning that was never intended when we created the system. Therefore, we chose to reaffirm the original intent of the design we installed on November 1, 1968, in which this "adults only" category explicitly describes a movie that most parents would want to have barred to viewing by their children. That was and is our goal, nothing more, nothing less.We have now trademarked "NC-17:NO ONE 17 AND UNDER ADMITTED" so that this rating symbol and the legend can be used only by those who submit their films for rating.

THE PURPOSE OF THE RATING SYSTEMThe basic mission of the rating system is a simple one: to offer to parents some advance information about movies so that parents can decide what movies they want their children to see or not to see. The entire rostrum of the rating program rests on the assumption of responsibility by parents. If parents don't care, or if they are languid in guiding their children's moviegoing, the rating system becomes useless. Indeed, if you are 18 or over, or if you have no children, the rating system has no meaning for you. Ratings are meant for parents, no one else.The Rating Board does not rate movies on their quality or lack of quality. That is a role left to film critics and audiences. Had we attempted to insert ourselves into judging whether a film is "good" or "bad" or "indifferent" we would have collapsed the system before it began.The criteria that go into the mix which becomes a Rating Board judgment are theme, violence, language, nudity, sensuality, drug abuse, and other elements. Part of the rating flows from how each of these elements is treated on-screen by the filmmaker. In making their evaluation, the members of the Ratings Board do not look at snippets of film in isolation but consider the film in its entirety. The Rating Board can make its decisions only by what is seen on the screen, not by what is imagined or thought.There is no special emphasis on any one of these elements. All are considered. All are examined before a rating is applied. Contrary to popular notion, violence is not treated more leniently than any of the other material. Indeed many films rated X in the past and NC-17 now, have at least tentatively been given the "adults only" rating because of depictions of violence. However, most of the directors/producers/distributors involved have chosen, by their decision, to edit intense violent scenes in order to receive an R rating.

HOW THE RATINGS ARE DECIDEDThe ratings are decided by a full-time Rating Board located in Los Angeles. There are 8-13 members of the Board who serve for perods of varying length. They work for the Classification and Rating Administration, which is funded by fees charged to producers/distributors for the rating of their films. The MPAA President chooses the Chairman of the Rating Board, thereby insulating the Board from industry or other group pressure. No one in the movie industry has the authority or the power to push the Board in any direction or otherwise influence it. One of the highest accolades to be conferred on the rating system is that from its birth in 1968 to this hour, there has never been even the slightest jot of evidence that the rating system has ever deliberately fudged a decision or bowed to pressure. The Rating Board has always conducted itself at the highest level of integrity. That is a large, honorable, and valuable asset.There are no special qualifications for Board membership, except the members must have a shared parenthood experience, must be possessed of an intelligent maturity, and most of all, have the capacity to put themselves in the role of most American parents so they can view a film and apply a rating that most parents would find suitable and helpful in aiding their decisions about their children's moviegoing.As the MPAA President, I take no part in rating decisions, and do not overrule or dissuade the Board from any decisions it makes.No one is forced to submit a film to the Board for rating, but the vast majority of producers/distributors do in fact submit their films for ratings. Any producer/distributor who wants no part of any rating system is free to go to the market without any rating at all or with any description or symbol they choose as long as it is not confusingly similar to the G, PG, PG-13, R, and, NC-17. The ratin symbols are federally-registered certification marks of the MPAA and may not be self-applied.

The Board Votes on RatingsThe Board views each film. Each member present estimates what most parents would consider to be that film's appropriate rating. After group discussion, the Board votes on the rating. Each member completes a rating form spelling out his or her reason for the rating.Each rating is decided by majority vote.The producer/distributor of a film has the right under the rules to inquire as to the "why" of the rating applied. The producer/distributor also has the right, based on the reasons for the rating, to edit the film - if that is the choice of the producer/distributor - and come back to the Board to try for a less severe rating. The reedited film is brought back to the Board and the process goes forward again.

Appeal of RatingsA producer/distributor who for any reason is displeased with a rating can appeal the decision to the Rating Appeals Board, which sits as the final arbiter of ratings.The Appeals Board comprises 14 to 18 members who serve terms of varying length. They are men and women from the industry organizations that govern the rating system.They gather to view the film and hear the appeal. After the screening, the producer/distributor whose film is being appealed explains why he or she believes the rating was wrongly decided. The chairman of the Rating Board states the reason for the film's rating. The producer/distributor has an opportunity for rebuttal.After Appeals Board members question the two opposing representatives, they are excused from the room. The Board discusses the appeal and then takes a secret ballot. It requires a two-thirds vote of those present to overturn a Rating Board decision.By this method of appeal, decisions of the Rating Board can be examined and any rating deemed a mistake set right.The decision of the Appeals Board is final and cannot be appealed.

WHAT THE RATINGS MEANG:"General Audiences-All Ages Admitted."This is a film which contains nothing in theme, language, nudity and sex, violence, etc. which would, in the view of the Rating Board, be offensive to parents whose younger children view the film. The G rating is not a "certificate of approval," nor does it signify a children's film.Some snippets of language may go beyond polite conversation but they are common everyday expressions. No stronger words are present in G-rated films. The violence is at a minimum. Nudity and sex scenes are not present; nor is there any drug use content.PG:"Parental Guidance Suggested. Some Material May Not Be Suitable For Children."This is a film which clearly needs to be examined or inquired into by parents before they let their children attend. The label PG plainly states that parents may consider some material unsuitable for their children, but the parent must make the decision.Parents are warned against sending their children, unseen and without inquiry, to PG-rated movies.The theme of a PG-rated film may itself call for parental guidance. There may be some profanity in these films. There may be some violence or brief nudity. But these elements are not deemed so intense as to require that parents be strongly cautioned beyond the suggestion of parental guidance. There is no drug use content in a PG-rated film.The PG rating, suggesting parental guidance, is thus an alert for examination of a film by parents before deciding on its viewing by their children.Obviously such a line is difficult to draw. In our pluralistic society it is not easy to make judgments without incurring some disagreement. So long as parents know they must exercise parental responsibility, the rating serves as a meaningful guide and as a warning.

WHAT THE RATINGS MEAN (con't)PG-13:"Parents Strongly Cautioned. Some Material May Be Inappropriate For Children Under 13."PG-13 is thus a sterner warning to parents to determine for themselves the attendance in particular of their younger children as they might consider some material not suited for them. Parents, by the rating, are alerted to be very careful about the attendance of their under-teenage children.A PG-13 film is one which, in the view of the Rating Board, leaps beyond the boundaries of the PG rating in theme, violence, nudity, sensuality, language, or other contents, but does not quite fit within the restricted R category. Any drug use content will initially require at least a PG-13 rating. In effect, the PG-13 cautions parents with more stringency than usual to give special attention to this film before they allow their 12-year olds and younger to attend.If nudity is sexually oriented, the film will generally not be found in the PG-13 category. If violence is too rough or persistent, the film goes into the R (restricted) rating. A film's single use of one of the harsher sexually-derived words, though only as an expletive, shall initially require the Rating Board to issue that film at least a PG-13 rating. More than one such expletive must lead the Rating Board to issue a film an R rating, as must even one of these words used in a sexual context. These films can be rated less severely, however, if by a special vote, the Rating Board feels that a lesser rating would more responsibly reflect the opinion of American parents.PG-13 places larger responsibilities on parents for their children's moviegoing. The voluntary rating system is not a surrogate parent, nor should it be. It cannot, and should not, insert itself in family decisions that only parents can, and should, make. Its purpose is to give prescreening advance informational warnings, so that parents can form their own judgments. PG-13 is designed to make these parental decisions easier for films between PG and R.R:"Restricted, Under 17 Requires Accompanying Parent Or Adult Guardian."

In the opinion of the Rating Board, this film definitely contains some adult material. Parents are strongly urged to find out more about this film before they allow their children to accompany them.An R-rated film may include hard language, or tough violence, or nudity within sensual scenes, or drug abuse or other elements, or a combination of some of the above, so that parents are counseled, in advance, to take this advisory rating very seriously. Parents must find out more about an R-rated movie before they allow their teenagers to view it.NC-17:"No One 17 And Under Admitted."This rating declares that the Rating Board believes that this is a film that most parents will consider patently too adult for their youngsters under 17. No children will be admitted. NC-17 does not necessarily mean "obscene or pornographic" in the oft-accepted or legal meaning of those words. The Board does not and cannot mark films with those words. These are legal terms and for courts to decide. The reasons for the application of an NC-17 rating can be violence or sex or aberrational behavior or drug abuse or any other elements which, when present, most parents would consider too strong and therefore off-limits for viewing by their children.

AppraisalIn any appraisal, what is "too much?" becomes very controversial. How much is "too much" violence? Are classic war films too violent with scenes of marines storming a beach and slaying hundreds, wounding thousands? Is it the graphic cop killing, the gangster shoot-out, or the slap across the face of a woman that determines "too much"? How much is "blood spilled" to be given emphasis? Where is the line to be drawn between "this is alright" and "this is not alright"?The same vexing doubts occur in sex scenes or those where language rises on the Richter scale, or where behavior not considered "normal" is revealed on the screen. What follows is disagreement, inevitable, inexorable, and oftentimes strident. That is what the rating system has to endure and confront. We understand that. We try to do our level best so that most parents would find our ratings mostly accurate and mostly useful.

Appraisal (con't)But, importantly, we urge and implore parents to care about what their children see and watch, to focus their attention on movies so they can know more about a film before they consent to their children watching it.To oversee the Rating Board, the film industry has set up a Policy Review Committee consisting of officials of MPAA and NATO. These men and women set guidelines for the Rating Board to follow, and make certain that the Board carries them out reasonably and appropriately.Because the rating program is a self-regulatory apparatus of the film industry, it is important that no single element of the industry take on the authority of a "czar" beyond any discipline or self-restraint.

Advertising and Trailer PolicyFilm advertising is part of the film industry's self-regulatory mechanism. All advertising for rated motion pictures must be submitted to the Advertising Administration for approval prior to its release to the public. This includes, but is not limited to, print ads, radio and TV spots, pressbooks, videocassette packaging and theatrical and home video trailers.Trailers are an important aspect of the program. They are approved for "all audiences," which means they may be shown with all feature films, or "restricted audiences", which limits their use to feature films rated R or NC-17. There will be, in "all audience" trailers, no scenes that caused the feature to be rated PG, PG-13, R or NC-17.Each trailer carries at the front a tag which tells two things: (1) the audience for which the trailer has been approved, and (2) the rating of the picture being advertised. The tag for "all audience" trailers will have a green background; the tag for "restricted" trailers will have a red background. The color is to alert the projectionist against mismatching trailers with the film being shown on the theater screen.

HOW THE RATING SYSTEM IS USED BY THEATER OWNERS AND VIDEO RETAILERSMotion picture theater owners, who co-founded the rating system in 1968, were the first group in the entertainment industry to voluntarily enforce its guidelines. NATO estimates that the majority of the theater owners in the nation observe the rating system.In the mid 1980's, as watching movies on videocassettes at home soared in popularity, video retailers joined theater owners in embracing the voluntary guidelines of the rating system. Parents who relied on the rating system to determine which films their children viewed in theaters found the information provided by the rating classifications equally helpful in home video. To facilitate its use, ratings are displayed on both the videocassette package and the cassette itself. The Video Software Dealers Association (VSDA), which is the major trade association for video retailers in the United States, has adopted a "Pledge to Parents" which strongly endorses the observance of the voluntary movie rating system by video retailers.

THE PUBLIC REACTION We count it crucial to make regular soundings to find out how the public perceives the rating program, and to measure the approval and disapproval of what we are doing.Nationwide scientific polls, conducted each year by the Opinion Research Corporation of Princeton, New Jersey, have consistently given the rating program high marks by parents throughout the land. The latest poll results show that 76% of parents with children under 13 found the ratings to be "very useful" to "fairly useful" in helping them make decisions for the moviegoing of their children.On the evidence of the polls, the rating system would not have survived if it were not providing a useful service to parents.The rating system isn't perfect but, in an imperfect world, it seems each year to match the expectations of those whom it is designed to serve - parents of America.Last Revised: December, 2000

Ok, bullshit number one: “Indeed many films rated X in the past and NC-17 now, have at least tentatively been given the "adults only" rating because of depictions of violence.” This is untrue and Sin City is a great example of it. That movie got an R rating and I don’t know what the director/editors cut out of the movie to get it or what’s on the cutting room floor but I sure would like to see it.

Second, and the whole paragraph is bullshit but “A film's single use of one of the harsher sexually-derived words, though only as an expletive, shall initially require the Rating Board to issue that film at least a PG-13 rating.” And that’s just to start; they’re saying or rather he’s saying that in a teenybopper movie when a kid says the phrase “oh man I’d really like to fuck nurse Brown this summer”, that gets a R but when the same kid in the very same movie says “that nurse Brown gets on my nerves I’m gonna smash her fucking head”, that would get a PG-13? That’s ok? What the heck is going on is America these days, man I just don’t know.

Listen, God is also telling me that my wife is laying there all snuggled up in the covers right now and I need to be next to her. I need to go to bed and my fingers are tired anyway. I think that I have proven my point at least a little bit in that there is hypocrisy in the system. While they tell us not to view violence, they sell us on movies that are filled with it. While they tell us that it’s shameful to masturbate, they make light of it in the movies. And the most grievous of all; when rape of women is the most despicable crime of all the movie industry thrives on putting a woman in peril time after time. I just don’t see the reasoning and this group that calls themselves a “Board of Directors” aught to be responsible to someone, not just to our government who has let us down in the past.

That’s the Lazlo Report for February 28, 2007

Anna Nicole & Lazlo's Prediction

Lazlo’s Prediction’s on the Anna Nicole Smith situation as of February 25, 2007 is that it will be found out that her son Daniel was dipping into the Methadone and that Howard K. Stern was in some was responsible for supplying those drugs. It may not have been in an illegal way that he retained those drugs but in many cases the enabler dose not even know that they’re doing what they’re doing at the time that they’re enabling the person and that the drugs at that high of doses can kill the person taking the drugs that they probably don’t often need and could sometimes can utilize over the counter drugs like ®Aleve Sorry I don't work on the weekend anymore so you folks are the first to see my blog since sitting back down at my desk chair.

In this case we have two people that have died in the result of very hard drugs and as I said in my last blog about this subject, Mr. Stern may be subject to even more than just enabling someone and I say that without accusing him directly of anything. If, and only IF, Mr. Stern is brought in for questioning for the deaths of Anna Nicole and her son Daniel I would ask him, that is if I were one of the detectives, why and where did she get her hands on methadone and something like Xanax which are two drugs that will put you into a drunken state before they kill you.

Then, ask to resume the body of Daniel and do an autopsy to see if there are the same drug interactions that killed him. If so then you have a direct pattern and then there is a motive, the money. He set her up to be sad as hell over he son after a supposed overdose, then he set up this whole fight over the body as a ruse just so that the bohemian government will side with him and let him keep the baby and the half a trillion dollars.

I hope that there is someone that is smarter than him in the State Department that sees this and reads my blog to thwart his efforts, keeping in mind that my theory is sound, and puts this butt stain in jail.

This will be my final analysis on Anna Nicole Smith and I hope that her family does ok and that her daughter, the half a trillion dollar girl, grows up somehow with God fearing – loving – parents of some sorts and that she is loved by her living parents no matter who they turn out to be especially when I hope that they turn out to be this Larry Burkhead.

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That’s The Lazlo Report for Monday February 26, 2007

Will Marc Dann Surprise Us More?

My goodness; ya know I once wrote my Congressman when I lived in California when my brother was dying of cancer and his long time wish was to fly an F15 Jet Fighter. Well I wasn’t able to achieve that but, along with the help of Senator Pete Wilson and then Governor Ronald Regan, I got my brother a first class tour of Mira Mar Air Force Base near San Diego, California. This is the same place where they teach the Top Gun Air Force Pilots and he even got to sit on a real F-15 jet while I sat in the co-pilots seat.

I tell you this story not to boast but to remind myself, and to tell all of you, that if you want something done in government you need to do it yourself. Now listen, I did that stuff back in the early 1980’s and as I sit here in 2007 I realized that I just got done with another hair raising experience here in the state of Ohio. I could have only gotten it done had it not been the help of one of the staff members of the Attorney General’s office and me sticking to their advice and directions, well, just one person who I can’t mention without her permission. Her initials are R.C. and you know who you are, thank you.

My point to this blog is that fist of all, I started a corporation back in 1999, and I then had my first and last corporate meeting with my lawyer in January of 2000. At that time he said “Hey we were supposed to have our annual meeting on your corporation” and I told him that I no longer was going to use this idea that I had and to do whatever it took to close it up. He then said he would and that was the last I heard of it. Well that was until about two years ago or so when I started getting tax bills from the tax collector telling me that I never closed the corporation correctly and that it was all my fault. Actually I don’t know how long it’s been that I’ve been receiving the notices because one of my disabilities is severe memory loss as well as depression and as time went on each notice only compounded the next one but that is another issue all together, I digress.

Ok, so sure it was my fault, I admit that, but I had also asked my attorney to “do whatever it takes” in this impromptu conversation at the end of a regular meeting at which I was in his office anyway (this was about two and a half years earlier) but again I had I had asked him to do what it took and he failed to do it. After I started receiving the tax bills I started sending letters but I got nowhere. Then I started getting letters from the “Special Lawyer for the Attorney General”, otherwise known as the Tax Collector and they tacked on interest and $500 penalties for each year as they went by.

So then I contacted the office of my local congressman and for a year and a half or whatever they did nothing and basically got nothing accomplished. Well, I did send them $250 toward the penalties and that was applied to my account I later found out. I really don’t know what they did in all that time. Nope, it wasn’t until the second week of this year when I got pissed off enough to just pick up the telephone myself. Quite frankly I was afraid that this last letter from the Attorney General demanding $7,600 for just one of the years dating back over four years was a bit too much and they might come and take my house. (That probably isn’t true in hindsight but ‘eh I’m Monday morning quarterbacking)

So anyway I contacted R.C. and she gave me the instructions on how to dissolve the corporation and in only one short month I accomplished what these other people with all of there law degrees and whatever couldn’t do. Again, I’m not boasting, I’m just talking about the gears of government and stating fact. As I said, if you want something done for yourself in government today or even back in the 1980’s, do it yourself. It also helps to call the right people and talk to them on the telephone and talk politely and calmly too. This young woman was very nice and very helpful.

I very much doubt that it’s due to the new administration down in Columbus that has caused such a change in the work habits of the people that work there, as I look at it there, it seems to be business as usual, but whatever the reason I’m happy and I can’t help but wonder if Ms R.C is going to run for any office herself, and if so she already has my vote.

That’s the Lazlo report for Friday, February 23, 2007

Lazlo On Anna Nicole

I was thinking, “Poor old Anna Nicole”, Poor? Good Lord; this woman bore a child that was worth a half a billion, that’s with a “B”, dollars. But she isn’t the issue. It’s this Howard K whatever that I see is of suspect in all of this sorted mess. I mean let them all work it all out in court before forming our public opinion but my goodness have any of you been watching Court TV of late?

Being disabled does have it’s disadvantages sometimes but it also serves as an advantage because as my beautiful wife goes to the bank and counts those ten and twenties all day and opens those accounts, while I am not at my parents helping them or just hang out I am home sometimes watching TV. When I get this privilege I get to watch shit like the Anna Nicole show, and that’s what this is, well it’s also the pilot for the Judge somethin’ show, since I don’t know his name.

It never ceases to amaze me that when you mix money and lawyers and Hollywood that you get cameras in the courtroom and everyone has to play a part as though they all have a script in front of them and they are “ready for their close up Mr. Demille”. Just like Anna wanted she will be remembered for the starlet that she was but not the beautiful woman that she really was. No, we get the hard-core version of a drug addicted run of the mill next-door woman that really was a very nice person who got caught up with an asshole but I have no evidence to prove my theory that he gave her the drugs that killed her.

I like the rest of the world have to go by what I watch on the tube but I have an insight that other don’t have in that I take most if not all of the drugs that she took up to the day of her death. Topomax is a drug that is used for pain by not only releasing some endorphins but it also has a strange side effect that it helps some people loose weight. It’s also used to kill some sharp shooting pains and epileptic pain but can cause bad side effects in mood behavior. I am also guessing, guessing mind you, that she was taking some sort of Xanax and methadone together and if someone does that surely they can die. I know because I had the very same reation to these drugs and I almost died myself almost a three years ago. If it weren’t for my family doctor, my God rest his soul, and the quick thinking of my pain specialist in nearby Fort Wayne, Indiana I would have died for sure.

So I know that mixing any sort of mind inducing drugs with opiates will hasten death. To top that you also have an enabler, so it appears, who was feeding her these drugs at her beckoning. Personally I would have cut her off just like it looks like this Larry fellow was trying to do but he seems to have failed in his attempts due to the body guards and other people hired by Mr….well I don’t want to throw rocks in a glass house. Needless to say that this guy here isn’t buying the bullshit that I am hearing in the courtroom. I just pray to the Lord that they lay to rest a very tired young woman who inherited a boat load of money and now her child is the baby sitter of that money who needs a baby sitter who will need a baby sitter until the child is no longer a baby. I do hope you got that

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Well for now, That’s The Lazlo Report for Thursday February 22, 2007

Some Day’s It Just Does, Oh Yeah, The Bank of America Deal

“It” being shit and it some days shit just happens. Yep, shit just does and it happens to me allot these days.

I had this tattoo put on my left arm several years ago but I did it as a joke. It was the finished piece to the court jester also on my left arm, or so I thought, that I had tattooed there probably twenty-five years earlier. You see I am quite the jokester once you get me fired up. I can spin a tale of yarn mighty wide if you give me the started but that’s the kid in me trying to get out. I like that too, it gets me in trouble sometimes and my wife keeps me grounded when I need it. In the past few years after becoming disabled however I had become a bit biter and I know by outside appearances a little, OK allot, gray. I didn’t loose that inner child though; that was still inside of me. Also inside of me was what I call the teaching of my parents. Not necessarily just my mom & dad but them plus what I learned at school and Sunday school. So you have my ultimate parents and my real parents both.

So now as I’ve gotten older and I have found the Lord and I am watching television and I’m getting all pissed off and I have to write a blog about it today and it dawns on me that “hey dude, God is speaking through you today and shit is happening to you today too” So, shit really does happen, wow, what a concept! Not that it’s that entirely complex ya know. I mean I said it pretty well in one of my last blogs. Kids like me and dogs follow me around. I still love the way that sounds, I wish that I had said that, anyway.

This Bank of America deal with them letting illegal immigrants get credit cards here in this country is just wrong. My wife and I have worked hard to achieve the credit that we have and it has taken us years just to do that. In fact it also humbles me to say that I have also had to file bankruptcy in the past and I am on the slow road to recovery from that. So as I see someone like Ben Stein on television spouting his mouth off about how this can be good for the economy I think to myself, “well sure, for you since you have fifty credit cards in your wallet, you could care less.”

Oh I was going to spend allot of time doing research on facts and figures that no one is going to give a rat’s ass about anyway. I could ya know. I have to my disposal the same technology that everyone else has, a pretty large computer, a well sized hard drive and the most important part I understand the subject matter. I’m not saying that I am another Neil Cavuto but it isn’t hard to understand that if you give a bunch of people that haven’t earned credit the chance to have credit before the people who have earned the credit first, the people that have earned the credit first, you know the one’s who helped your bank grow, those people will continue to do their best while the illegal people that you gave credit cards to will run up bogus charges and the legal people will have to bare the brunt of the cost of that cost. The percentage of good apples out of bad ones is about 5% out of 100% so don’t try and feed us that lame “we’re trying to help the poor immigrants south of the border” bullshit. Other immigrants may be a different story but too bad, illegal is illegal, PERIOD!

So listen assholes at Bank of America, I do care and a bunch of people just like me care too. We’ve worked all of our lives to get where we’re at in life not to have you throw it out the window for your corporate greed. Greed is one of the Seven Deadly Sins and whether you want to believe in them or not, for thousands of years greed has taken down kings way bigger than you. It has toppled enter kingdoms my greedy friends. That’s why they call it a “Deadly Sin” It’s not a myth and it’s not something to mess with. Just go back in history and look at every large entity that has ever grown to amass so large of a fortune that they start taking advantage of the people that gave them their start. “bit the hands that fed them”; They got their hands cut off somehow. It doesn’t matter who and how, it just happens someday. I am not warning you, I am just giving you a lesson in history and I am telling your future for you. Personally I don’t have one of your cards and I would never get one. I think you SUCK! But that’s just me and that’s my opinion; and like assholes everyone’s got one.

My wife has asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up lately and I just told her just a few minuets ago. I plan to be another person who stands up for the people when the people can’t stand up for themselves. I plan to spread the word of God at the same time. Just like Martin Luther King he fought for not only Black rights but for all Civil Rights, for all of us. I plan to do the same but with the internet behind me.

Sorry for the spicy language everyone but the old Lazlo is fired up over this one today.

That’s the Lazlo Report for Wensday, February 21 2007