It’s fever he a maniac
Go ahead, hum the song; Al Gore, our former Vice President actually came up with the idea that our planet has a fever. What the fuck is he talking about? Our planet not only doesn’t have a fever but his whole theory of Global Worming is starting to sound like a ploy.
The real truth is that our sun, you know that big ass star that keeps us warm every day, hasn’t been so warm in 8,000 years and is now coming into another cycle in which it gets hotter on the earth. Every planet in our solar system is also getting warmer too. They don’t mention that in their presentation either. So are there humans on Mars driving big rigs and spewing out carbon dioxide there too? No it’s the Sun! It’s a combination of the two and MR. Gore conveniently suppresses that portion of the news.
The ploy that I am talking about is that he doesn’t think that humans, or more precise Americans, are part of the solution. So he wants the text books to be changed to say that WE, humans, are the problem and not the solution. That is the way that socialists and other Europeans think and people like movie stars can take that way of thinking and stick it up their ass.
It was that sort of thinking that made us leave England over 230 years ago and I’ll be damned if a bunch of mambie pambie socialistic tree huggers are going to change this Country into another France. France doesn’t even have a decent Marine Corp that can land on a beach without getting stuck in the mud whiles our men and women our getting killed in the name of Freedom in Iraq.
Freedom is not cheep and we have paid for it dearly; with our pain, with our dollars and with our men and women’s lives. For these people to come in and to change the rules mid stream is a travesty not only to our men and women in the field but to our Nation as a whole. Oh, I’m not saying anything that you haven’t heard before but it needs to be said over and over again.
The best Presidents that we have ever had have figured out that to succeed in office that they must understand that our forefathers stood with Jesus Christ and that they must do so themselves. Look at the denigration of our morality in the nation when Clinton was in office and when Bush became President he became a born again Christian because he understood that his forefathers we so entrenched in Christianity. Now look at the morality of the nation and tell me it hasn’t changed. But I digress
The planet may even be cooling and we don’t even know it. For all we know the iron that some very smart scientists have put into our oceans may have cooled down the waters and their plan may even work; we don’t know. There are several plans in the works but many of them are just nutty; this one however isn’t and it’s about creating microscopic marine plants in the Southern Ocean that may have played a pivotal role in the Earth's climate during past ice ages, explained Mark Brzezinski, professor of biology and deputy director of the Marine Science Institute at the University of California, Santa Barbara. These are some of the plans that are coming from the award winning, Nobel Prize Winning scientists in the scientific community but on the other hand no one else seems to have a better plan other than the Al Gore’s of the world so I am going to have to go with these guys.
Actually some of their plans aren’t all that far fetched such as putting a large sun block of sorts over the ice caps but to do so it would take monumental work on the world space community and I doubt that everybody would help, especially France. They just want the USA to go away. But if we had twenty space shuttles with supplies to build curtains with solar panels on them and a basic vinyl in between, we could probably build something in the magnitude of the size of the State of Texas.
It will take people allot smarted than me to figure all of this out but I’ll bet a dollar to a doughnut that I’m right and that this one may work. I’ll also bet that the iron in the ocean, building small tiny plants will turn out to be quite the big news in the future and that this will be our children’s new hope.
Well that’s the Lazlo Report for March 24, 2007
Friday
Bartender Beaten
In the days of Al Capone the was a saying that “you can get more with a smile and a gun than with just a smile”; well in today’s world that has changed into a fist. The other day an off duty Copper beat the shit out of a 25 year old bar tender in a down town bar called Jessy’s Down Town Beat.
As it turns out this police officer is connected to the mob somehow and had someone go into the bar and offer this young lady some money not to prosecute. They also went in and tried telling her that if she said anything that they would plant drugs in her car and the car of the bar owner. What the fuck!
Has Chicago gone too far or what? Is the state of the Country going south and has the morality of the Country gotten to the brink of breaking down? I think that whether they are Republicans or Democrats, and the latter of the two are the worst, that there are corrupt people in all sectors of our government. We need to find them and get them out. Finding them is harder than it sounds.
I know that this sounds harsh but since President Clinton and him getting his dick sucked in the Oval Office, the morality in the country has started to go down hill. We need to do things to change this. Believing in a God is NOT a bad thing. Being told that man is destroying this planet is not the solution to our problems. We can fix the problems of the world if we stick together and work as one people and one Nation Under God as our Forefather wrote so many years ago. America is a good place and we are good people with good intentions.
God bless America.
I hope that the Bartender gets better and that she prosecutes to the fullest extent of the law. She deserves that. These thugs that perpetrated the crime need to go to jail and it’s this reporter’s opinion hat organized crime may have it’s place in places like the crap hole town that I live in since some of the Coppers (not all, just about 5%) here can be bought off is you can offer enough money to their special pedestrian funds or the Just Say No programs but I’m a realist and I fail to prescribe to that sort of intimidation.
No, sorry folks, for me I’ll stick with Jesus Christ and the righteous crusade that he was making before people just couldn’t handle his message on taking care of each other. Knowing humans though I’m sure that someone will have already figured out how to make buck on that and pushed Jesus out of hat too and that someone will have already figured out how to charge money for the services.
That’s the Lazlo Report for March 23, 2007
As it turns out this police officer is connected to the mob somehow and had someone go into the bar and offer this young lady some money not to prosecute. They also went in and tried telling her that if she said anything that they would plant drugs in her car and the car of the bar owner. What the fuck!
Has Chicago gone too far or what? Is the state of the Country going south and has the morality of the Country gotten to the brink of breaking down? I think that whether they are Republicans or Democrats, and the latter of the two are the worst, that there are corrupt people in all sectors of our government. We need to find them and get them out. Finding them is harder than it sounds.
I know that this sounds harsh but since President Clinton and him getting his dick sucked in the Oval Office, the morality in the country has started to go down hill. We need to do things to change this. Believing in a God is NOT a bad thing. Being told that man is destroying this planet is not the solution to our problems. We can fix the problems of the world if we stick together and work as one people and one Nation Under God as our Forefather wrote so many years ago. America is a good place and we are good people with good intentions.
God bless America.
I hope that the Bartender gets better and that she prosecutes to the fullest extent of the law. She deserves that. These thugs that perpetrated the crime need to go to jail and it’s this reporter’s opinion hat organized crime may have it’s place in places like the crap hole town that I live in since some of the Coppers (not all, just about 5%) here can be bought off is you can offer enough money to their special pedestrian funds or the Just Say No programs but I’m a realist and I fail to prescribe to that sort of intimidation.
No, sorry folks, for me I’ll stick with Jesus Christ and the righteous crusade that he was making before people just couldn’t handle his message on taking care of each other. Knowing humans though I’m sure that someone will have already figured out how to make buck on that and pushed Jesus out of hat too and that someone will have already figured out how to charge money for the services.
That’s the Lazlo Report for March 23, 2007
Monday
A Life In The Day
A day in my life usually starts with me waking up to the sounds of my wife getting ready for work. She starts this ritual around 6:30 am but the alarm has been going off for about a hour. The dog has also been trying to wake us up, or her shall I say, by using his nose to nestle in between the sheets and put that cold old thing on her as she tries to sleep; me I’m already half awake but I’m trying not to appear so because Joe our dog will come straight over to me.
As she’s dressing Joe tears at her cloths as a sort of a tug of war game and although she always wins he always adds an extra twenty minutes to her getting ready for work too. Next, after she’s kissed me good-bye Joe sets his sights on me and is fully active in the “I’ve got to wake them all up” department of his life. He gets me up between 8:30 and 9:00 depending if I had a bad day the day before and on his more generous days he seems to think that having wet paws is a blessing that I think is funny. Well I don’t Joe and if someone is reading this to you then please stop it.
I always have time in the morning for a little love for Joe using my hands and sort of cooing him; going back and forth using the back of my hand to make sure that he doesn’t bite me and just sort of petting him and rubbing the under side of his chin. He seems to like that and so do I.
I taught him two games since having so much time alone one of which is called “Catchin-dee-Air”. All you have to do is to put a rhythmic sound to it as I did and any dog can learn it; bee-bop sort of. “I take the ball and throw it and you catch it in the air, if you wanna play the game then you catch it in the air”. Just put it to music as I did and your dog will love it too, well maybe, I don’t know mine did.
Another game that I play with Joe in the mornings is Underdacovers. I put the same rhythmic sounds to playing this game and he seems to go crazy over what is under the covers, which are just my hands. He thinks it’s some sort of spider but its fun for the both of us.
By noon my day has taken form of what may seem to be the good life to many but to me I am bored shitless just having two dogs and an occasional phone call to talk to. Oh I write my blogs and I build web sites which is more than a lot of people do with their lives when on Disability in this day and age but I used to do so much more within a day that I almost feel obligated to do more, hmm…guess not.
Anywho, I check in with my wife and she always brightens my day with her telling me something about how her day is going or her telling me that I have to do something around the house, almost like orders for the day. It feels good to be needed ya know. So by 2:00 I am again task-less and looking forward to her arrival at around 5:pm but still thinking of her as I do almost every day.
Just about ten minutes before then, or before she gets home, both dogs go outside toward the back gate which is where we come in the house and they both sit and also wait on my wife. It’s funny to watch them do this every day. They hear the sound of her car engine as it rolls over the railroad tracks two blocks away and both come a whoppin and a hollerin, running throughout the house, nipping at every stuffed animal within an inch of it’s life. Now Joe, our small Cocker, has a problem with his piddlen everywhere and he gets pee all over the place when he gets excited. So here he is zipping around the house making little spots of pee everywhere when she isn’t even home. Needless to say that when she gets home I have to carry a couple of paper towels around and the both of us keep to the kitchen where there is linoleum until he calms down.
Meanwhile Crazy and Crazier are tearing around the house digging out every stuffed animal that I spent part of the day putting away and making pit stops into the kitchen to tinkle on our feet. We kiss and talk about how our days went.
After the dooters calm down my wife proceeds to change cloths and Joe is on the ready to help out again. He stands ready on the bed and as she disrobes he attacks he garments and shakes them violently. His favorite of course is her bra because of the Velcro or the elastic but none the less he runs around the house with it and if the neighbors ever came over at that moment it would be quite the scene.
Like most people my evenings are filled with a nice dinner, maybe some love making and that’s IF the dog doesn’t interrupt us, and then we’ll watch a movie or some TV. Very rarely do we ever fight and never do we go to bed mad at each other. This has been the success of our 22 year marriage and I am looking forward to writing another one of these columns on or at about our 50th anniversary.
I’ll tell ya, a day in my life may sound boring to some, it may sound exciting to others, it may even sound cliché, but to me it just sounds like just another day.
Such is the life of Terry L. Corwin aka Lazlo T. Hofstedder
That’s the Lazlo Report for March 20, 2007
As she’s dressing Joe tears at her cloths as a sort of a tug of war game and although she always wins he always adds an extra twenty minutes to her getting ready for work too. Next, after she’s kissed me good-bye Joe sets his sights on me and is fully active in the “I’ve got to wake them all up” department of his life. He gets me up between 8:30 and 9:00 depending if I had a bad day the day before and on his more generous days he seems to think that having wet paws is a blessing that I think is funny. Well I don’t Joe and if someone is reading this to you then please stop it.
I always have time in the morning for a little love for Joe using my hands and sort of cooing him; going back and forth using the back of my hand to make sure that he doesn’t bite me and just sort of petting him and rubbing the under side of his chin. He seems to like that and so do I.
I taught him two games since having so much time alone one of which is called “Catchin-dee-Air”. All you have to do is to put a rhythmic sound to it as I did and any dog can learn it; bee-bop sort of. “I take the ball and throw it and you catch it in the air, if you wanna play the game then you catch it in the air”. Just put it to music as I did and your dog will love it too, well maybe, I don’t know mine did.
Another game that I play with Joe in the mornings is Underdacovers. I put the same rhythmic sounds to playing this game and he seems to go crazy over what is under the covers, which are just my hands. He thinks it’s some sort of spider but its fun for the both of us.
By noon my day has taken form of what may seem to be the good life to many but to me I am bored shitless just having two dogs and an occasional phone call to talk to. Oh I write my blogs and I build web sites which is more than a lot of people do with their lives when on Disability in this day and age but I used to do so much more within a day that I almost feel obligated to do more, hmm…guess not.
Anywho, I check in with my wife and she always brightens my day with her telling me something about how her day is going or her telling me that I have to do something around the house, almost like orders for the day. It feels good to be needed ya know. So by 2:00 I am again task-less and looking forward to her arrival at around 5:pm but still thinking of her as I do almost every day.
Just about ten minutes before then, or before she gets home, both dogs go outside toward the back gate which is where we come in the house and they both sit and also wait on my wife. It’s funny to watch them do this every day. They hear the sound of her car engine as it rolls over the railroad tracks two blocks away and both come a whoppin and a hollerin, running throughout the house, nipping at every stuffed animal within an inch of it’s life. Now Joe, our small Cocker, has a problem with his piddlen everywhere and he gets pee all over the place when he gets excited. So here he is zipping around the house making little spots of pee everywhere when she isn’t even home. Needless to say that when she gets home I have to carry a couple of paper towels around and the both of us keep to the kitchen where there is linoleum until he calms down.
Meanwhile Crazy and Crazier are tearing around the house digging out every stuffed animal that I spent part of the day putting away and making pit stops into the kitchen to tinkle on our feet. We kiss and talk about how our days went.
After the dooters calm down my wife proceeds to change cloths and Joe is on the ready to help out again. He stands ready on the bed and as she disrobes he attacks he garments and shakes them violently. His favorite of course is her bra because of the Velcro or the elastic but none the less he runs around the house with it and if the neighbors ever came over at that moment it would be quite the scene.
Like most people my evenings are filled with a nice dinner, maybe some love making and that’s IF the dog doesn’t interrupt us, and then we’ll watch a movie or some TV. Very rarely do we ever fight and never do we go to bed mad at each other. This has been the success of our 22 year marriage and I am looking forward to writing another one of these columns on or at about our 50th anniversary.
I’ll tell ya, a day in my life may sound boring to some, it may sound exciting to others, it may even sound cliché, but to me it just sounds like just another day.
Such is the life of Terry L. Corwin aka Lazlo T. Hofstedder
That’s the Lazlo Report for March 20, 2007
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