My goodness; ya know I once wrote my Congressman when I lived in California when my brother was dying of cancer and his long time wish was to fly an F15 Jet Fighter. Well I wasn’t able to achieve that but, along with the help of Senator Pete Wilson and then Governor Ronald Regan, I got my brother a first class tour of Mira Mar Air Force Base near San Diego, California. This is the same place where they teach the Top Gun Air Force Pilots and he even got to sit on a real F-15 jet while I sat in the co-pilots seat.
I tell you this story not to boast but to remind myself, and to tell all of you, that if you want something done in government you need to do it yourself. Now listen, I did that stuff back in the early 1980’s and as I sit here in 2007 I realized that I just got done with another hair raising experience here in the state of Ohio. I could have only gotten it done had it not been the help of one of the staff members of the Attorney General’s office and me sticking to their advice and directions, well, just one person who I can’t mention without her permission. Her initials are R.C. and you know who you are, thank you.
My point to this blog is that fist of all, I started a corporation back in 1999, and I then had my first and last corporate meeting with my lawyer in January of 2000. At that time he said “Hey we were supposed to have our annual meeting on your corporation” and I told him that I no longer was going to use this idea that I had and to do whatever it took to close it up. He then said he would and that was the last I heard of it. Well that was until about two years ago or so when I started getting tax bills from the tax collector telling me that I never closed the corporation correctly and that it was all my fault. Actually I don’t know how long it’s been that I’ve been receiving the notices because one of my disabilities is severe memory loss as well as depression and as time went on each notice only compounded the next one but that is another issue all together, I digress.
Ok, so sure it was my fault, I admit that, but I had also asked my attorney to “do whatever it takes” in this impromptu conversation at the end of a regular meeting at which I was in his office anyway (this was about two and a half years earlier) but again I had I had asked him to do what it took and he failed to do it. After I started receiving the tax bills I started sending letters but I got nowhere. Then I started getting letters from the “Special Lawyer for the Attorney General”, otherwise known as the Tax Collector and they tacked on interest and $500 penalties for each year as they went by.
So then I contacted the office of my local congressman and for a year and a half or whatever they did nothing and basically got nothing accomplished. Well, I did send them $250 toward the penalties and that was applied to my account I later found out. I really don’t know what they did in all that time. Nope, it wasn’t until the second week of this year when I got pissed off enough to just pick up the telephone myself. Quite frankly I was afraid that this last letter from the Attorney General demanding $7,600 for just one of the years dating back over four years was a bit too much and they might come and take my house. (That probably isn’t true in hindsight but ‘eh I’m Monday morning quarterbacking)
So anyway I contacted R.C. and she gave me the instructions on how to dissolve the corporation and in only one short month I accomplished what these other people with all of there law degrees and whatever couldn’t do. Again, I’m not boasting, I’m just talking about the gears of government and stating fact. As I said, if you want something done for yourself in government today or even back in the 1980’s, do it yourself. It also helps to call the right people and talk to them on the telephone and talk politely and calmly too. This young woman was very nice and very helpful.
I very much doubt that it’s due to the new administration down in Columbus that has caused such a change in the work habits of the people that work there, as I look at it there, it seems to be business as usual, but whatever the reason I’m happy and I can’t help but wonder if Ms R.C is going to run for any office herself, and if so she already has my vote.
That’s the Lazlo report for Friday, February 23, 2007
Thursday
Lazlo On Anna Nicole
I was thinking, “Poor old Anna Nicole”, Poor? Good Lord; this woman bore a child that was worth a half a billion, that’s with a “B”, dollars. But she isn’t the issue. It’s this Howard K whatever that I see is of suspect in all of this sorted mess. I mean let them all work it all out in court before forming our public opinion but my goodness have any of you been watching Court TV of late?
Being disabled does have it’s disadvantages sometimes but it also serves as an advantage because as my beautiful wife goes to the bank and counts those ten and twenties all day and opens those accounts, while I am not at my parents helping them or just hang out I am home sometimes watching TV. When I get this privilege I get to watch shit like the Anna Nicole show, and that’s what this is, well it’s also the pilot for the Judge somethin’ show, since I don’t know his name.
It never ceases to amaze me that when you mix money and lawyers and Hollywood that you get cameras in the courtroom and everyone has to play a part as though they all have a script in front of them and they are “ready for their close up Mr. Demille”. Just like Anna wanted she will be remembered for the starlet that she was but not the beautiful woman that she really was. No, we get the hard-core version of a drug addicted run of the mill next-door woman that really was a very nice person who got caught up with an asshole but I have no evidence to prove my theory that he gave her the drugs that killed her.
I like the rest of the world have to go by what I watch on the tube but I have an insight that other don’t have in that I take most if not all of the drugs that she took up to the day of her death. Topomax is a drug that is used for pain by not only releasing some endorphins but it also has a strange side effect that it helps some people loose weight. It’s also used to kill some sharp shooting pains and epileptic pain but can cause bad side effects in mood behavior. I am also guessing, guessing mind you, that she was taking some sort of Xanax and methadone together and if someone does that surely they can die. I know because I had the very same reation to these drugs and I almost died myself almost a three years ago. If it weren’t for my family doctor, my God rest his soul, and the quick thinking of my pain specialist in nearby Fort Wayne, Indiana I would have died for sure.
So I know that mixing any sort of mind inducing drugs with opiates will hasten death. To top that you also have an enabler, so it appears, who was feeding her these drugs at her beckoning. Personally I would have cut her off just like it looks like this Larry fellow was trying to do but he seems to have failed in his attempts due to the body guards and other people hired by Mr….well I don’t want to throw rocks in a glass house. Needless to say that this guy here isn’t buying the bullshit that I am hearing in the courtroom. I just pray to the Lord that they lay to rest a very tired young woman who inherited a boat load of money and now her child is the baby sitter of that money who needs a baby sitter who will need a baby sitter until the child is no longer a baby. I do hope you got that
More..
Well for now, That’s The Lazlo Report for Thursday February 22, 2007
Being disabled does have it’s disadvantages sometimes but it also serves as an advantage because as my beautiful wife goes to the bank and counts those ten and twenties all day and opens those accounts, while I am not at my parents helping them or just hang out I am home sometimes watching TV. When I get this privilege I get to watch shit like the Anna Nicole show, and that’s what this is, well it’s also the pilot for the Judge somethin’ show, since I don’t know his name.
It never ceases to amaze me that when you mix money and lawyers and Hollywood that you get cameras in the courtroom and everyone has to play a part as though they all have a script in front of them and they are “ready for their close up Mr. Demille”. Just like Anna wanted she will be remembered for the starlet that she was but not the beautiful woman that she really was. No, we get the hard-core version of a drug addicted run of the mill next-door woman that really was a very nice person who got caught up with an asshole but I have no evidence to prove my theory that he gave her the drugs that killed her.
I like the rest of the world have to go by what I watch on the tube but I have an insight that other don’t have in that I take most if not all of the drugs that she took up to the day of her death. Topomax is a drug that is used for pain by not only releasing some endorphins but it also has a strange side effect that it helps some people loose weight. It’s also used to kill some sharp shooting pains and epileptic pain but can cause bad side effects in mood behavior. I am also guessing, guessing mind you, that she was taking some sort of Xanax and methadone together and if someone does that surely they can die. I know because I had the very same reation to these drugs and I almost died myself almost a three years ago. If it weren’t for my family doctor, my God rest his soul, and the quick thinking of my pain specialist in nearby Fort Wayne, Indiana I would have died for sure.
So I know that mixing any sort of mind inducing drugs with opiates will hasten death. To top that you also have an enabler, so it appears, who was feeding her these drugs at her beckoning. Personally I would have cut her off just like it looks like this Larry fellow was trying to do but he seems to have failed in his attempts due to the body guards and other people hired by Mr….well I don’t want to throw rocks in a glass house. Needless to say that this guy here isn’t buying the bullshit that I am hearing in the courtroom. I just pray to the Lord that they lay to rest a very tired young woman who inherited a boat load of money and now her child is the baby sitter of that money who needs a baby sitter who will need a baby sitter until the child is no longer a baby. I do hope you got that
More..
Well for now, That’s The Lazlo Report for Thursday February 22, 2007
Tuesday
Some Day’s It Just Does, Oh Yeah, The Bank of America Deal
“It” being shit and it some days shit just happens. Yep, shit just does and it happens to me allot these days.
I had this tattoo put on my left arm several years ago but I did it as a joke. It was the finished piece to the court jester also on my left arm, or so I thought, that I had tattooed there probably twenty-five years earlier. You see I am quite the jokester once you get me fired up. I can spin a tale of yarn mighty wide if you give me the started but that’s the kid in me trying to get out. I like that too, it gets me in trouble sometimes and my wife keeps me grounded when I need it. In the past few years after becoming disabled however I had become a bit biter and I know by outside appearances a little, OK allot, gray. I didn’t loose that inner child though; that was still inside of me. Also inside of me was what I call the teaching of my parents. Not necessarily just my mom & dad but them plus what I learned at school and Sunday school. So you have my ultimate parents and my real parents both.
So now as I’ve gotten older and I have found the Lord and I am watching television and I’m getting all pissed off and I have to write a blog about it today and it dawns on me that “hey dude, God is speaking through you today and shit is happening to you today too” So, shit really does happen, wow, what a concept! Not that it’s that entirely complex ya know. I mean I said it pretty well in one of my last blogs. Kids like me and dogs follow me around. I still love the way that sounds, I wish that I had said that, anyway.
This Bank of America deal with them letting illegal immigrants get credit cards here in this country is just wrong. My wife and I have worked hard to achieve the credit that we have and it has taken us years just to do that. In fact it also humbles me to say that I have also had to file bankruptcy in the past and I am on the slow road to recovery from that. So as I see someone like Ben Stein on television spouting his mouth off about how this can be good for the economy I think to myself, “well sure, for you since you have fifty credit cards in your wallet, you could care less.”
Oh I was going to spend allot of time doing research on facts and figures that no one is going to give a rat’s ass about anyway. I could ya know. I have to my disposal the same technology that everyone else has, a pretty large computer, a well sized hard drive and the most important part I understand the subject matter. I’m not saying that I am another Neil Cavuto but it isn’t hard to understand that if you give a bunch of people that haven’t earned credit the chance to have credit before the people who have earned the credit first, the people that have earned the credit first, you know the one’s who helped your bank grow, those people will continue to do their best while the illegal people that you gave credit cards to will run up bogus charges and the legal people will have to bare the brunt of the cost of that cost. The percentage of good apples out of bad ones is about 5% out of 100% so don’t try and feed us that lame “we’re trying to help the poor immigrants south of the border” bullshit. Other immigrants may be a different story but too bad, illegal is illegal, PERIOD!
So listen assholes at Bank of America, I do care and a bunch of people just like me care too. We’ve worked all of our lives to get where we’re at in life not to have you throw it out the window for your corporate greed. Greed is one of the Seven Deadly Sins and whether you want to believe in them or not, for thousands of years greed has taken down kings way bigger than you. It has toppled enter kingdoms my greedy friends. That’s why they call it a “Deadly Sin” It’s not a myth and it’s not something to mess with. Just go back in history and look at every large entity that has ever grown to amass so large of a fortune that they start taking advantage of the people that gave them their start. “bit the hands that fed them”; They got their hands cut off somehow. It doesn’t matter who and how, it just happens someday. I am not warning you, I am just giving you a lesson in history and I am telling your future for you. Personally I don’t have one of your cards and I would never get one. I think you SUCK! But that’s just me and that’s my opinion; and like assholes everyone’s got one.
My wife has asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up lately and I just told her just a few minuets ago. I plan to be another person who stands up for the people when the people can’t stand up for themselves. I plan to spread the word of God at the same time. Just like Martin Luther King he fought for not only Black rights but for all Civil Rights, for all of us. I plan to do the same but with the internet behind me.
Sorry for the spicy language everyone but the old Lazlo is fired up over this one today.
That’s the Lazlo Report for Wensday, February 21 2007
What We're really Fighting For In Afghanistan
Like a bolt of lightning it just hit me. Why would anyone fight over a desert like Afghanistan if it weren’t for something other than the land? And then it came to me; Have you ever looked at the teeth of those people that they hire to fight along side of the Taliban? Those fuckers are heroin addicts and it’s the poppy fields that they have been really fighting over for centuries.
I mean look at the Russians; The Red Army had fought their war to a military draw but that was not enough to wave off political defeat at home.They had fought from 1979 to 1989 using hit-and-run bloodletting across the war's decade with more than 25,000 dead Soviet soldiers plus a great many more casualties and further demoralizing the USSR on the verge of disintegration.
Before that time there was the British in the Afgan/Anglo war, 1919 and that was the “second” one of those. WHAT? Yep, second one of those, so people have been fighting over the control of this drug for along time but for reason that they don’t want to say, they just don’t call it for drugs. They just call it territory or for land or for whatever but heaven forbid they call it for what it really is.
Good Lord, why is that that drugs have to play a pivotal role in our lives and why is it that they have even before the big drug companies even before they got their start. Personally I have never been to Afghanistan but I’ll bet that now that the US has stepped up it’s efforts to push out the Taliban once again, the heroin sales will once again rise in the United States unless the State Department does something about it and my guess is that they wont. The sale of heroin has been the major export of that country for many years and I doubt that we are going to stop that soon. That and identity theft is big business here especially on the Left Coast.
Not unless we can convince the government there to modernize the production of the heroin, which will drive up the cost, which is OK with me, but will produce many jobs in that country based upon that flower. With that the Taliban will forever be powerless to rule the people but drugs like Oxycontin and Hyrdrocodone will go up for a while. It’s a cost I am willing to barer for my brothers and sister in Afghanistan if people here in the US stand up and make enough noise. Oxycontin is already, what, like $40 a tablet so another 10 isn’t going to hurt the insurance companies any and Hydrocodone is so cheap right now that it will probably just even out.
My point is that opium has been traded for centuries and that poor little country has been shit on long enough. While we’re all worried about our insurance rates and our drug coverage, those folks are over there with AK47’s and M16’s protecting their livelihoods and their children. It scares this hell out of me that it may come to that sometime here.
I have become a soldier of Jesus Christ and of God himself; No, not any sort of militant. I have just seen the light of the Lord into my heart and it feels great. If you read the rest of my blogs, please do, you see that I have become a new man, a born again Christian and I have a new outlook on the surroundings around me. Just like the title of my blogs state. I am reporting on the overall thoughts of myself after watching the world go around each day and watching how people act toward each other, not only in my life but in all of society, today, yesterday and how it will effect the future. Up until a few weeks ago that did not include how I interacted with Jesus Christ and how he played a intricate part in all of this. Well I now understand that he plays a big part in my life as well as everyone that I interact with. He has done so for many years.
Well that’s The Lazlo Report for Tuesday, February 20, 2007
I mean look at the Russians; The Red Army had fought their war to a military draw but that was not enough to wave off political defeat at home.They had fought from 1979 to 1989 using hit-and-run bloodletting across the war's decade with more than 25,000 dead Soviet soldiers plus a great many more casualties and further demoralizing the USSR on the verge of disintegration.
Before that time there was the British in the Afgan/Anglo war, 1919 and that was the “second” one of those. WHAT? Yep, second one of those, so people have been fighting over the control of this drug for along time but for reason that they don’t want to say, they just don’t call it for drugs. They just call it territory or for land or for whatever but heaven forbid they call it for what it really is.
Good Lord, why is that that drugs have to play a pivotal role in our lives and why is it that they have even before the big drug companies even before they got their start. Personally I have never been to Afghanistan but I’ll bet that now that the US has stepped up it’s efforts to push out the Taliban once again, the heroin sales will once again rise in the United States unless the State Department does something about it and my guess is that they wont. The sale of heroin has been the major export of that country for many years and I doubt that we are going to stop that soon. That and identity theft is big business here especially on the Left Coast.
Not unless we can convince the government there to modernize the production of the heroin, which will drive up the cost, which is OK with me, but will produce many jobs in that country based upon that flower. With that the Taliban will forever be powerless to rule the people but drugs like Oxycontin and Hyrdrocodone will go up for a while. It’s a cost I am willing to barer for my brothers and sister in Afghanistan if people here in the US stand up and make enough noise. Oxycontin is already, what, like $40 a tablet so another 10 isn’t going to hurt the insurance companies any and Hydrocodone is so cheap right now that it will probably just even out.
My point is that opium has been traded for centuries and that poor little country has been shit on long enough. While we’re all worried about our insurance rates and our drug coverage, those folks are over there with AK47’s and M16’s protecting their livelihoods and their children. It scares this hell out of me that it may come to that sometime here.
I have become a soldier of Jesus Christ and of God himself; No, not any sort of militant. I have just seen the light of the Lord into my heart and it feels great. If you read the rest of my blogs, please do, you see that I have become a new man, a born again Christian and I have a new outlook on the surroundings around me. Just like the title of my blogs state. I am reporting on the overall thoughts of myself after watching the world go around each day and watching how people act toward each other, not only in my life but in all of society, today, yesterday and how it will effect the future. Up until a few weeks ago that did not include how I interacted with Jesus Christ and how he played a intricate part in all of this. Well I now understand that he plays a big part in my life as well as everyone that I interact with. He has done so for many years.
Well that’s The Lazlo Report for Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Monday
The Joke Page
I will add to this Joke Page but the HTML on the front cover was getting out of hand and I had to clean it up a little. Please email me if you have a joke that you wish published
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A Very Short Story
Man driving down road.
Woman driving up same road.
They pass each other.
The woman yells out the window, PIG!
Man yells out window, Old Hag!
Man rounds next curve.
Crashes into a HUGE PIG in middle of road and dies.
Thought For the Day: If only men would listen...
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WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Wednesday, March 21, 2007
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays ---
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor---
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM
Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places and Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost ---
Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To BeLate.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
human body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"
No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said, "You
should not be asking 6th graders a question like that! I'm going to
tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, and ya 'll
get fired!" She then sat back down.
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, "Which body
part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"
Little Mary's mouth fell open, and she said to those around
her, "Boy, is she gonna get in big trouble!" The teacher continued to ignore
her and said to the class, "Anybody?"
Finally, Billy Bossard stood up, looked around nervously, and said,
"The body part that increases to 10 times its size when stimulated is
the pupil of the eye."
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A Very Short Story
Man driving down road.
Woman driving up same road.
They pass each other.
The woman yells out the window, PIG!
Man yells out window, Old Hag!
Man rounds next curve.
Crashes into a HUGE PIG in middle of road and dies.
Thought For the Day: If only men would listen...
*****************************************************************************
WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Wednesday, March 21, 2007
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays ---
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor---
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM
Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places and Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost ---
Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To BeLate.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
*****************************************************************************
Why We Love Our Children and Why We’d
Love to Ring Their Neck’s Sometimes
1) NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
2) OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."
3) KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."
4) MORE NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies crabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
5) POLICE # 1 While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"
6) POLICE # 2 It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What did he do?"
7) ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
8) DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning. "
9) SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"
10) BIBLE A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."
If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is
even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at
work think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He
performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station
103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job
experience contest. Needless to say, she won:
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down
lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you
realize it's not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few
technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the
office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what
we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water
heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It
heats it to a delightful temperature.
It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to
the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it
several times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and
stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm
water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my
back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to
it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other
divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing
in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could
reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at
the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as
soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt
was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it
would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
***********************************************************************************
An absolute must read for parents and educators!!!!! SCHOOL ANSWERING MACHINE This is hilarious - no wonder why the liberal people in California
were offended! This is the message that the Pacific Palisades High School (in California) staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine. This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework. The school and teachers are now being sued by parents who want their children's failing grades changed to passing grades - even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough schoolwork to pass their classes which is ridicules in itself!!
This is the outgoing message: "Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection;
Press 1 To lie about why your child is absent
Press 10 To make excuses for why your child did not do his work
Press 2 To complain about what we do
Press 3 To swear at staff members
Press 4 To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you
Press 5 If you want us to raise your child
Press 6 If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone
Press 7 To request another teacher, for the third time this year
Press 8 To complain about bus transportation
Press 9 To complain about school lunches
Press 0 If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class
work, homework and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!
I think they should have added "Oh yeah and If you want this in Spanish, don't press # or * , because you're probably in the wrong country anyway." I think this message should be used nation wide and if pisses people off, GOOD!
***********************************************************************************
Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,**
Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,
"Hello?"
"Hi honey This is Daddy
Is Mommy near the phone?"
"No, Daddy She's upstairs in the
bedroom with Uncle Paul."
After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey,
you haven't got an Uncle Paul."
"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room
with Mommy, right now."
Brief Pause.
"Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone
and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy
that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway."
"Okay, Daddy, Just a minute."
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.
“I did it, Daddy."
“And what happened, honey?" He asked.
“Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser. And now she isn't moving at all!"
"Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?"
"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead."
*******Long Pause*****
*****Longer Pause*****
*****Even Longer Pause*****
Then Daddy says,
"Swimming pool? ............Is this 486-5731?"
*****************************************************************************
Mrs. Parks, a 6th grade science teacher, asked her class, "Whichhuman body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"
No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said, "You
should not be asking 6th graders a question like that! I'm going to
tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, and ya 'll
get fired!" She then sat back down.
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, "Which body
part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"
Little Mary's mouth fell open, and she said to those around
her, "Boy, is she gonna get in big trouble!" The teacher continued to ignore
her and said to the class, "Anybody?"
Finally, Billy Bossard stood up, looked around nervously, and said,
"The body part that increases to 10 times its size when stimulated is
the pupil of the eye."
Mrs. Parks said, "Very good, Billy, that's correct.!”
Then she turned to Mary and continued, "As for you, young lady, I
have three things to say:
First, you have a dirty mind.
Second, you didn't read your homework.
And third, one day you are going to be VERY, VERY disappointed
Sunday
One For The Troops
First of all let me clear something up; when I said the other day that you should be "be nice would ya". As I have said so many times, to follow Jesus Christ and to serve God you don't always have to be nice to people but you should be pleasant. Anyway let's get on with today's blog ok
I hear a lot of News commentary and other means of communication about how average people feel about this war but rarely do I see or hear what the troops have to say unless it's the wrong point of view or it's the same old left wing story of sadness and gloom.What about all of the good that they are doing over there like putting up new schools and new power plants and giving out cloths to their poor just like we do here in our own country? No, that stuff doesn't seem to get on the news because the fact is, is that the media is painting a picture that our military are the bad guys and the insurgencies are the victims. That couldn't have been done better if the Sundance Channel had been the producers themselves.
What we need is to use the 'Real Network' to actually show what reality is all about when it comes to what a radical Muslim is all about; Cutting off the head of Daniel Pearl is a great example. When's the last time you saw anyone put on any real torture that those people really do instead of them blaming us for things like roughing up some guards and humiliating them sexually like we did at Abu Grab. Think about it, that's all we did, sexually harass a few of their guys and they cut heads off; AND WE'RE THE BAD GUYS?
People like Nancy-girl Pelosi and Teddy Kennedy need to pull their head out of their respective butts and reread that to themselves. We embarrass them and they cut heads off. That is when I call a normal human of reasonable intelligence completely retarded. They just don't seem to get it. And by the way when these people shoot off their mouth about a pole taken about how 68% of Americans feel about how President Bush is doing his job or not on the war on terror; HEY! That's 68% of the people that they picked to talk to, get it, THEY PICKED THE PEOPLE! The pole is rigged. I could go to Detroit and ask the same question and get a worse rating where as I could go and ask the pole in parts of the Bible belt and get a completely different number. Remember, America voted for Taylor Hicks, now rewatch American Idle One and watch Kelly Clarkston and then you tell me that Mr. Hicks isn't a joke. I just watched it last night and I was amazed with the difference in talent.
Another thing they don’t get is the fact that world history has a track record of repeating itself. It’s done it for thousands of years. Back before World War II Germany was bent on taking over the world, and the total slaughter of every Jew, just like Iran is today. Then Japan jumped in and bombed Pearl Harbor and killed several thousand people just like a few Syrians, a couple of Jordanians training in Iraq working along for Hezbollah and Al Qaeda did by crashing airliners into three of our US buildings on 9/11 and another in a field that was headed for the Capital or the Whitehouse.
Just like the Arms Race then, we can not let the bad guys get the biggest badass weapon of all time again because this time these crazy fucks will use it. They don't have the same sense of fair play that the Russians had back in the 1950's. They don't see the world in geopolitical terms. They see it in georeligious terms; if there ever was such a word but the definition being that they want the destruction of every other religion and only those of Muslim faith shall populate the earth when they are done. The Geneva Convention is a joke to them unlike honorable people like the Japanese and we hope the Chinese. They see only the total destruction of America and all that it stands for regardless of what hype they spin on TV and anyone that buys their bullshit is a fool. It's like trusting the Nazis with your Jewish children.
Any of the service men or women that I have spoken to that have come home has told me that first of all they didn't want to leave their buddies there. They also knew exactly why they were there and it was not for the reasons that most of the News keeps talking about. They tell me that it's the politicians that are lying, that I can believe. Now that there is a larger presence over there they defiantly don't want to leave because they know we can win and they don't want politicians slanted to the left to starve them out or do something equally as stupid as that. By the way when we're sort of on the subject but not really, it was President Bush's ADVISERS who told him that there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. He did not personally go over there and start flipping rocks. Does anyone think that he did that? Is America and the people that they hired to run this country that stupid? As I recall it was that dude that is now pissed at President Bush because someone else, again, someone else, supposedly leaked his wife's low-level name to the press and now he wants revenge; REVENGE, what a dick!
Listen, Shouldn't President Bush get the benefit of the doubt? As the President's actions was being debated at the United Nations, it was also being debated on shows like Fox news and CNN, both of which I watched allot at the time. On several occasions, I thought for myself the following questions: Should we believe the President of the United States? My answer was that we should give the President the benefit of the doubt, for several reasons deriving from the usual procedures that have operated in every modern White House and that, I assumed, had to be operating in the Bush White House, too.
First, I assume that these statements had all been carefully considered and crafted. Presidential statements are the result of a process, not a moment's thought. White House speechwriters process raw information, and their statements are passed on to senior aides who have both substantive knowledge and political insights. And this all occurs before the statement ever reaches the President for his own review and possible revision.
Second, at least as I and a professor Dean, whom I am getting some of this information off of his website; at least in every White House and administration with which I was familiar, from Truman to Clinton, statements with national security implications were the most carefully considered of all. The White House is aware that, in making these statements, the President is speaking not only to the nation, but also to the world.
Third, these statements are typically corrected rapidly if they are later found to be false. And in this case, far from backpedaling from the President's more extreme claims, the President's press secretary, Ari Fleischer had actually, at times, been even more emphatic than the President had. For example, on January 9, 2003, Fleischer stated, during his press briefing, "We know for a fact that there are weapons there."
In addition, others in the Administration were similarly quick to back the President up, in some cases with even more unequivocal statements. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld repeatedly claimed that Saddam had WMDs, and even went so far as to claim he knew "where they are; they're in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad."
Finally, as I understand it, the political risk was so great that, it was inconceivable that the President would make these statements if he didn't have complete solid intelligence to back him up. Presidents do not stick their necks out only to have them chopped off by political opponents on an issue as important as this, and if there was any doubt, I think, the Presidential political advisers would be have telling him to hedge. Rather than stating a matter as fact, he would have been saying: "I have been advised," or "Our intelligence reports strongly suggest," or some such similar shit. But he didn't. Maybe that is where he went wrong but to me the fast still remains that it was his advisers that told him that the stuff was over there.
So what are we now to conclude if the President's statements are found to be as inaccurate as they currently appear to have been? After all, no weapons of mass destruction have been found, and given the President's statements, they should not have been very hard to find - for they existed in large quantities, "thousands of tons" of chemical weapons alone. Moreover, according to the statements, telltale facilities, groups of scientists who could testify, and production equipment also existed.
I have two answers for the weapons of mass destruction; on the matter of the chemical weapons. Sure, it's a fact that throughout Operation Freedom's penetration of Iraq and drive toward Baghdad, the search for WMDs continued. None were found. And as the coalition forces gained control of Iraqi cities and countryside, special search teams were dispatched to look for WMDs. None were found.
Undersecretary of State for Arms Control and International Security John Bolton, while offering no new evidence, assured Congress that WMDs will indeed be found. And he advised that a new unit called the Iraq Survey Group, composed of some 1400 experts and technicians from around the world, is being deployed to assist in the searching.
But, as Time magazine reported, the leads are running out. According to Time, the Marine general in charge explained that "we've been to virtually every ammunition supply point between the Kuwaiti border and Baghdad," and remarked flatly, "They're simply not there."
Well the answer is clear; they were taken over the boarders of Syria and Iran. There is so much evidence to support this that it is overwhelming America has entered a new age of pre-emption; when it must strike first because it cannot afford to find out later if terrorists possess nuclear or biological weapons, exact intelligence is critical. How will the United States take out a mad despot or a nuclear bomb hidden in a cave if the CIA can't say for sure where they are? And how will Bush be able to maintain support at home and abroad?"
In an apparent attempt to bolster the President's credibility, and his own, Secretary Rumsfeld himself had now called for a Defense Department investigation into what had went wrong with the pre-war intelligence. New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd found this effort about on par with O. J.'s looking for his wife's killer. But there may be a difference: Unless the members of the Administration can find someone else to blame; informants, surveillance technology, lower-level personnel, you name it, they may not escape fault themselves.
To put it more clearly, if the President had taken Congress and the Nation into war based upon bogus information, he would have been cooked. Manipulation or deliberate misuse of national security intelligence data, if proven, could be "a high crime" under the Constitution's impeachment clause. It would also be a violation of federal criminal law, including the broad federal anti-conspiracy statute, which renders it a felony "to defraud the United States, or any agency thereof in any manner or for any purpose." But he didn't as I said, he looked to his advisers to tell his what to do and he acted upon that information. These bone heads at the New York Times just want to put a nail in his coffin whenever they can and that is such bullshit.
And one more point I want to make on this cold and snowy day in the Midwest. If you check out the big name Hollywood Networks right now like Turner Classic Movies and the one’s that play the old time stuff, you find that they are all playing in waves a lot of the old war movies but not just the shoot’em up ones and on the Western Channel they’re also playing a certain brand of old time classic movies too. It’s the patriotic classics, the ones that make you proud to be an American and proud to hear the Star Spangle Banner, not to mention the National Anthem. The reasons are probably because they know something is going to happen, soon, and they want us to know so we can be prepared without spouting off the same old dribble as their elitist counterparts within the acting community who don’t know their ass from a hole in the ground because whether we want to admit it or not, many of the top brass in Hollywood and New York is and always shall be of Jewish faith and may God bless them for that.
Ah hell I just get bent out of shape when it comes to the men and women that serve our country and some of the shabby treatment that they get from both sides of the isle right now but at the same time my love of the Lord and my wife both do a great job at to keeping me grounded.
That's The Lazlo Report for February 18, 2007
I hear a lot of News commentary and other means of communication about how average people feel about this war but rarely do I see or hear what the troops have to say unless it's the wrong point of view or it's the same old left wing story of sadness and gloom.What about all of the good that they are doing over there like putting up new schools and new power plants and giving out cloths to their poor just like we do here in our own country? No, that stuff doesn't seem to get on the news because the fact is, is that the media is painting a picture that our military are the bad guys and the insurgencies are the victims. That couldn't have been done better if the Sundance Channel had been the producers themselves.
What we need is to use the 'Real Network' to actually show what reality is all about when it comes to what a radical Muslim is all about; Cutting off the head of Daniel Pearl is a great example. When's the last time you saw anyone put on any real torture that those people really do instead of them blaming us for things like roughing up some guards and humiliating them sexually like we did at Abu Grab. Think about it, that's all we did, sexually harass a few of their guys and they cut heads off; AND WE'RE THE BAD GUYS?
People like Nancy-girl Pelosi and Teddy Kennedy need to pull their head out of their respective butts and reread that to themselves. We embarrass them and they cut heads off. That is when I call a normal human of reasonable intelligence completely retarded. They just don't seem to get it. And by the way when these people shoot off their mouth about a pole taken about how 68% of Americans feel about how President Bush is doing his job or not on the war on terror; HEY! That's 68% of the people that they picked to talk to, get it, THEY PICKED THE PEOPLE! The pole is rigged. I could go to Detroit and ask the same question and get a worse rating where as I could go and ask the pole in parts of the Bible belt and get a completely different number. Remember, America voted for Taylor Hicks, now rewatch American Idle One and watch Kelly Clarkston and then you tell me that Mr. Hicks isn't a joke. I just watched it last night and I was amazed with the difference in talent.
Another thing they don’t get is the fact that world history has a track record of repeating itself. It’s done it for thousands of years. Back before World War II Germany was bent on taking over the world, and the total slaughter of every Jew, just like Iran is today. Then Japan jumped in and bombed Pearl Harbor and killed several thousand people just like a few Syrians, a couple of Jordanians training in Iraq working along for Hezbollah and Al Qaeda did by crashing airliners into three of our US buildings on 9/11 and another in a field that was headed for the Capital or the Whitehouse.
Just like the Arms Race then, we can not let the bad guys get the biggest badass weapon of all time again because this time these crazy fucks will use it. They don't have the same sense of fair play that the Russians had back in the 1950's. They don't see the world in geopolitical terms. They see it in georeligious terms; if there ever was such a word but the definition being that they want the destruction of every other religion and only those of Muslim faith shall populate the earth when they are done. The Geneva Convention is a joke to them unlike honorable people like the Japanese and we hope the Chinese. They see only the total destruction of America and all that it stands for regardless of what hype they spin on TV and anyone that buys their bullshit is a fool. It's like trusting the Nazis with your Jewish children.
Any of the service men or women that I have spoken to that have come home has told me that first of all they didn't want to leave their buddies there. They also knew exactly why they were there and it was not for the reasons that most of the News keeps talking about. They tell me that it's the politicians that are lying, that I can believe. Now that there is a larger presence over there they defiantly don't want to leave because they know we can win and they don't want politicians slanted to the left to starve them out or do something equally as stupid as that. By the way when we're sort of on the subject but not really, it was President Bush's ADVISERS who told him that there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. He did not personally go over there and start flipping rocks. Does anyone think that he did that? Is America and the people that they hired to run this country that stupid? As I recall it was that dude that is now pissed at President Bush because someone else, again, someone else, supposedly leaked his wife's low-level name to the press and now he wants revenge; REVENGE, what a dick!
Listen, Shouldn't President Bush get the benefit of the doubt? As the President's actions was being debated at the United Nations, it was also being debated on shows like Fox news and CNN, both of which I watched allot at the time. On several occasions, I thought for myself the following questions: Should we believe the President of the United States? My answer was that we should give the President the benefit of the doubt, for several reasons deriving from the usual procedures that have operated in every modern White House and that, I assumed, had to be operating in the Bush White House, too.
First, I assume that these statements had all been carefully considered and crafted. Presidential statements are the result of a process, not a moment's thought. White House speechwriters process raw information, and their statements are passed on to senior aides who have both substantive knowledge and political insights. And this all occurs before the statement ever reaches the President for his own review and possible revision.
Second, at least as I and a professor Dean, whom I am getting some of this information off of his website; at least in every White House and administration with which I was familiar, from Truman to Clinton, statements with national security implications were the most carefully considered of all. The White House is aware that, in making these statements, the President is speaking not only to the nation, but also to the world.
Third, these statements are typically corrected rapidly if they are later found to be false. And in this case, far from backpedaling from the President's more extreme claims, the President's press secretary, Ari Fleischer had actually, at times, been even more emphatic than the President had. For example, on January 9, 2003, Fleischer stated, during his press briefing, "We know for a fact that there are weapons there."
In addition, others in the Administration were similarly quick to back the President up, in some cases with even more unequivocal statements. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld repeatedly claimed that Saddam had WMDs, and even went so far as to claim he knew "where they are; they're in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad."
Finally, as I understand it, the political risk was so great that, it was inconceivable that the President would make these statements if he didn't have complete solid intelligence to back him up. Presidents do not stick their necks out only to have them chopped off by political opponents on an issue as important as this, and if there was any doubt, I think, the Presidential political advisers would be have telling him to hedge. Rather than stating a matter as fact, he would have been saying: "I have been advised," or "Our intelligence reports strongly suggest," or some such similar shit. But he didn't. Maybe that is where he went wrong but to me the fast still remains that it was his advisers that told him that the stuff was over there.
So what are we now to conclude if the President's statements are found to be as inaccurate as they currently appear to have been? After all, no weapons of mass destruction have been found, and given the President's statements, they should not have been very hard to find - for they existed in large quantities, "thousands of tons" of chemical weapons alone. Moreover, according to the statements, telltale facilities, groups of scientists who could testify, and production equipment also existed.
I have two answers for the weapons of mass destruction; on the matter of the chemical weapons. Sure, it's a fact that throughout Operation Freedom's penetration of Iraq and drive toward Baghdad, the search for WMDs continued. None were found. And as the coalition forces gained control of Iraqi cities and countryside, special search teams were dispatched to look for WMDs. None were found.
Undersecretary of State for Arms Control and International Security John Bolton, while offering no new evidence, assured Congress that WMDs will indeed be found. And he advised that a new unit called the Iraq Survey Group, composed of some 1400 experts and technicians from around the world, is being deployed to assist in the searching.
But, as Time magazine reported, the leads are running out. According to Time, the Marine general in charge explained that "we've been to virtually every ammunition supply point between the Kuwaiti border and Baghdad," and remarked flatly, "They're simply not there."
Well the answer is clear; they were taken over the boarders of Syria and Iran. There is so much evidence to support this that it is overwhelming America has entered a new age of pre-emption; when it must strike first because it cannot afford to find out later if terrorists possess nuclear or biological weapons, exact intelligence is critical. How will the United States take out a mad despot or a nuclear bomb hidden in a cave if the CIA can't say for sure where they are? And how will Bush be able to maintain support at home and abroad?"
In an apparent attempt to bolster the President's credibility, and his own, Secretary Rumsfeld himself had now called for a Defense Department investigation into what had went wrong with the pre-war intelligence. New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd found this effort about on par with O. J.'s looking for his wife's killer. But there may be a difference: Unless the members of the Administration can find someone else to blame; informants, surveillance technology, lower-level personnel, you name it, they may not escape fault themselves.
To put it more clearly, if the President had taken Congress and the Nation into war based upon bogus information, he would have been cooked. Manipulation or deliberate misuse of national security intelligence data, if proven, could be "a high crime" under the Constitution's impeachment clause. It would also be a violation of federal criminal law, including the broad federal anti-conspiracy statute, which renders it a felony "to defraud the United States, or any agency thereof in any manner or for any purpose." But he didn't as I said, he looked to his advisers to tell his what to do and he acted upon that information. These bone heads at the New York Times just want to put a nail in his coffin whenever they can and that is such bullshit.
And one more point I want to make on this cold and snowy day in the Midwest. If you check out the big name Hollywood Networks right now like Turner Classic Movies and the one’s that play the old time stuff, you find that they are all playing in waves a lot of the old war movies but not just the shoot’em up ones and on the Western Channel they’re also playing a certain brand of old time classic movies too. It’s the patriotic classics, the ones that make you proud to be an American and proud to hear the Star Spangle Banner, not to mention the National Anthem. The reasons are probably because they know something is going to happen, soon, and they want us to know so we can be prepared without spouting off the same old dribble as their elitist counterparts within the acting community who don’t know their ass from a hole in the ground because whether we want to admit it or not, many of the top brass in Hollywood and New York is and always shall be of Jewish faith and may God bless them for that.
Ah hell I just get bent out of shape when it comes to the men and women that serve our country and some of the shabby treatment that they get from both sides of the isle right now but at the same time my love of the Lord and my wife both do a great job at to keeping me grounded.
That's The Lazlo Report for February 18, 2007
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