So when did the rules change? I know that I’m forty-seven, and my adolescence is still within grasp, at least the thought process anyway. So when did American’s start making it OK to make split second decisions on every day life things like what college to send their child to or what cloths to where that day, why pick them out the night before?. When did it all of a sudden become fashionable to forgo the thought process? And when did it become ok to just forget about dignity, feelings and most of all basic manors in this country, I’d like to know that.
It wasn’t that long ago when children used to respect their elders, yeah I know this is a story that has been told before, even a short a time ago as the 1950’s and that evil rock-n-roll ,but I’m talking about this ultra in your face crap that today’s kids are using. And then with the usage of their language it’s no wonder why we complain. Don’t even get me started on the whole internet language thing with the “ROTFF” thing. Now, I know what that means, being a gig head and all, but to yell into my screen that you’re rolling on the F’ing floor you can just tell me that you’re really happy or you find what I just said very fucking funny, it’s ok, I can read, I can take the time. I don’t need instant words for instant gratification of my brain as I am reading too.
When I was young the worst thing that you cold do to someone was to hurt their feelings. I meant like in school, at home with a sibling. And I would’ve had my ass beat red by the principal or the teacher and/or by dad when he got home and pulled out his belt. Let me tell you when even you’re a pretty tall & fast 15 year old as I was you still didn’t mess with a 265LB man with a 38” black leather belt and a temper especially after he had two beers in him, no way. Now kids are so immune to that behavior that they are emulating the violence that they see every day on television and even games where they don’t realize how many lives that are affected by liking someone or even down to the type of foul language that is used in these television shows and games. And the kids know that our government is filled with a bunch of mamsy-pamsy people who will come in and actually believe the kid about child abuse when what these kids need is a good belt on their ass, I know I was one of those kids who deserved every beating he got! I’m not putting down human services in general, they do some good work but the majority is useless, absolutely useless.
On the flip side of my argument you have the liberal professors in some of our colleges that are teaching our children, and at twenty and twenty-four they are still children, that “just make yourself happy” “Do what YOU want” “Stop having the Man bring you down” and crap like that when teaching our children what the difference between a rooster and a hen and that they’re all chickens is more important. Knowing the location of Springfield, yeah all of them, on a map is important because my fiends our competitors like the Chinese, the Japanese and God forbid any radical Islamic country bent on destroying a country as great as ours will succeed if our children, the ones who are supposed to take over in the next generation don’t clean up their act. .
But who’s fault is this really? Is it the kids who asked mom or dad for the money to buy the game after they got the console for Christmas?. Maybe it’s because most parents use television as a wannabe babysitter and they just plop the kid down there for hours on end. No, not really, I blame this government for pushing what I call a “get it done fast and lie about it attitude” brought on by the Clinton administration and his statement “It depends on what the definition of the word IS is”
After that statement and people knew he was lying to his wife and Congress about having an affair, or several, people began to think that it was ok to lie to someone based upon small little words. “What IS is”, give me a break. In this day and age I have but one thing to say to Ex-President Clinton “Bite Me”. You Sir Mr. Clinton, in the early 90’s, started off this mess and now it’s not going to get better until it gets worse. Oh sure he handed off the flag to President Bush and he’ll probably fuck it up just as much, so much as I’ve seen he’s tried hard to fix the problem but is coming up short. All things being equal, Christ didn't speak English so there isn't such a thing as an "F" word either.
I don’t know, maybe these are just the ramblings of a madman or maybe I’m on to something and within minutes of posting a man in black will come crashing down my door demanding a retraction. One thing is for sure, as my younger sister Dotty just told me last night, I have to stop sweating the small stuff.
Well that the Lazlo Report for Thursday, January 11, 2007
Friday
What’s wrong with today’s schools top scoring and the students not understanding their assignments?
In my day there used to be HOMEWORK. When a child is sent home with homework, I thought anyway, the parent had to help the child work on an assignment everyday until he or she got it done, or the smart ones just did their own homework so they can go out and play OR turn on the TV, and now a days turn on the computer and hit the chat rooms or still go out and visit friends. Na, who am I kidding, they hit the chat rooms.
But that homework is then turned in the next day and time is taken to go over every student’s homework by the teacher during part of an hour long class while the students are reading for the next day’s homework. Then, near the end of that class, the teacher picks the best & the worst of the papers to go over some of the questions & areas that were missed & picked up the most.
This process was done in almost every classroom in almost every school and these were not all ½ hour long elective classes either. All classes were one hour, making school nine hours long, with a one hour lunch, just like a job is, so going to school is just like it’s going to be when these High School’ers are let loose on the world with little or no education.
The Teachers need to stop bitching about the pay that they get for now and once we get Congress to understand what it’s going to take to do everything I just described; the paper to copy the homework, the extra hour long classes, more air conditioning, more lighting which means more electricity. And since the classrooms are already over crowded you might as well throw in a teacher’s Aid in each Math, English and Spelling class. And that isn’t going to be cheep so hang onto your skivvies on that one, ok boys.
And that’s not the problem, the problem starts at home, with the parents who are supposed to be helping our children learn too. But Oh no, we just think we can send them off to school and someone else will do the job because we have paid for this in our taxes or for some other dumb ass reason. Wake up people!! What ever happened to the PTA? All I see is that the once proud Parents-Teachers Association is now disbanded all over the Nation and it is now a joke all over the web. That seems to be funny to allot of today's youth. Funny, well, you will laugh last my small minded friends. And what ever happened to a parent helping their own child, actually sitting down with that kid and saying “hey son or daughter, how can I help today?” Is that so far gone that I am some sort of stranger in my own country? I thought that this was America, the land of the brightest and the best.
I’ll tell ya, in the past twenty years I’ve seen it go from the brightest and the best to the wacky & worst and now the lame and lost.
That’s the Lazlo Report for Wednesday, January 10th 2007
But that homework is then turned in the next day and time is taken to go over every student’s homework by the teacher during part of an hour long class while the students are reading for the next day’s homework. Then, near the end of that class, the teacher picks the best & the worst of the papers to go over some of the questions & areas that were missed & picked up the most.
This process was done in almost every classroom in almost every school and these were not all ½ hour long elective classes either. All classes were one hour, making school nine hours long, with a one hour lunch, just like a job is, so going to school is just like it’s going to be when these High School’ers are let loose on the world with little or no education.
The Teachers need to stop bitching about the pay that they get for now and once we get Congress to understand what it’s going to take to do everything I just described; the paper to copy the homework, the extra hour long classes, more air conditioning, more lighting which means more electricity. And since the classrooms are already over crowded you might as well throw in a teacher’s Aid in each Math, English and Spelling class. And that isn’t going to be cheep so hang onto your skivvies on that one, ok boys.
And that’s not the problem, the problem starts at home, with the parents who are supposed to be helping our children learn too. But Oh no, we just think we can send them off to school and someone else will do the job because we have paid for this in our taxes or for some other dumb ass reason. Wake up people!! What ever happened to the PTA? All I see is that the once proud Parents-Teachers Association is now disbanded all over the Nation and it is now a joke all over the web. That seems to be funny to allot of today's youth. Funny, well, you will laugh last my small minded friends. And what ever happened to a parent helping their own child, actually sitting down with that kid and saying “hey son or daughter, how can I help today?” Is that so far gone that I am some sort of stranger in my own country? I thought that this was America, the land of the brightest and the best.
I’ll tell ya, in the past twenty years I’ve seen it go from the brightest and the best to the wacky & worst and now the lame and lost.
That’s the Lazlo Report for Wednesday, January 10th 2007
Ode to the Helms Bakery Man
Out of all the women that I could have married I married a woman who was born and raised in Norwalk California.
Now, that may not have any social significance to any of you but if you read on I’ll bet you that about 100,000 to a half a million of you it will. You see I was born in Ohio but I grew up in Garden Grove California, just about ten minutes from Norwalk if there was no traffic, which there always is.
As a youngster some of my fondest memories are sitting in front of the television set and watching Hobo Kelly, with her large green handled mirror without glass in it, and calling out names and as it turns out both my wife and I both sat and hoped that our names would be called out to be wished happy birthday. One time my name was called but it wasn’t my birthday and I ran around the house, crying, looking for my mo and asking why she called my name when it wasn’t my birthday. Remember, I was just eight years old. My wife just told me that her name was never called but she has a rather obscure name. DAMN HER PARENTS! Just kidding J
We also were just reminiscing on the Helms Bakery Man who drove around in his truck and delivered baked goods to each neighborhood and both of us looked forward to him pulling our those long trays from the back of that truck to reveal everything loafs of bread for mom to the ultimate in goodies for us that included the chocolate covered doughnuts to the wax cola bottles and the wax lips. There were also the little two cent packs of gum that had four pieces wrapped together and my mother would not let me get because I had braces and then my favorite of all that I could not often afford…the Abazaba Bar! For those who are not in the know, the Abazaba bar was an all white taffy bar about five inches long, two inches wide, and there was peanut butter mixed with sugar on the inside; Pure Kid Heaven.
My wife’s favorite’s was the doughnut covered in chocolate and the wax lips that had some sort of cherry flavored sugar juice on the inside. As time went on these wax lips started to come in different flavors, orange, grape and what was supposed to be licorice but they never got that one right. She also loved the Pixy-Styx, the Chico-sticks and we just laughed because we both ran around the house with candy necklaces around our necks; again, we were six and eight years old. The Pixy-Styx were a small paper tube of pure sugar that was just flavored with whatever color the paper was that housed the sugar, it was that simple and kids loved it. Those were a penny.
Just as I did, waiting for the Helms Bakery Truck, my wife also watched a local Southern California TV shows that, after procreation had taken effect and the stories had all been told, it isn't just her and I that remember show like two of our favorites. The first was called Hobo-Kelly, with her large green mirror without any glass in it. She used this mirror to call out children's names when it was their birthdays. I remember the day when she called out my name and I ran around the house, calling out for my mom "Mom Mom Mom" I yelled, "she said Lazlo", unfortunantly it wasn't my birthday.
The next was called Sheriff John. This show was a precursor to PBS’s Mister Rodgers but if they would have made Sheriff John commercial free and allowed children’s attention span not to be interrupted then he would have become Nation Wide.
But, that’s for another blog, for another time, and I WILL get to it.
That’s the Lazlo Report for Tuesday January, 9th 2007
Now, that may not have any social significance to any of you but if you read on I’ll bet you that about 100,000 to a half a million of you it will. You see I was born in Ohio but I grew up in Garden Grove California, just about ten minutes from Norwalk if there was no traffic, which there always is.
As a youngster some of my fondest memories are sitting in front of the television set and watching Hobo Kelly, with her large green handled mirror without glass in it, and calling out names and as it turns out both my wife and I both sat and hoped that our names would be called out to be wished happy birthday. One time my name was called but it wasn’t my birthday and I ran around the house, crying, looking for my mo and asking why she called my name when it wasn’t my birthday. Remember, I was just eight years old. My wife just told me that her name was never called but she has a rather obscure name. DAMN HER PARENTS! Just kidding J
We also were just reminiscing on the Helms Bakery Man who drove around in his truck and delivered baked goods to each neighborhood and both of us looked forward to him pulling our those long trays from the back of that truck to reveal everything loafs of bread for mom to the ultimate in goodies for us that included the chocolate covered doughnuts to the wax cola bottles and the wax lips. There were also the little two cent packs of gum that had four pieces wrapped together and my mother would not let me get because I had braces and then my favorite of all that I could not often afford…the Abazaba Bar! For those who are not in the know, the Abazaba bar was an all white taffy bar about five inches long, two inches wide, and there was peanut butter mixed with sugar on the inside; Pure Kid Heaven.
My wife’s favorite’s was the doughnut covered in chocolate and the wax lips that had some sort of cherry flavored sugar juice on the inside. As time went on these wax lips started to come in different flavors, orange, grape and what was supposed to be licorice but they never got that one right. She also loved the Pixy-Styx, the Chico-sticks and we just laughed because we both ran around the house with candy necklaces around our necks; again, we were six and eight years old. The Pixy-Styx were a small paper tube of pure sugar that was just flavored with whatever color the paper was that housed the sugar, it was that simple and kids loved it. Those were a penny.
Just as I did, waiting for the Helms Bakery Truck, my wife also watched a local Southern California TV shows that, after procreation had taken effect and the stories had all been told, it isn't just her and I that remember show like two of our favorites. The first was called Hobo-Kelly, with her large green mirror without any glass in it. She used this mirror to call out children's names when it was their birthdays. I remember the day when she called out my name and I ran around the house, calling out for my mom "Mom Mom Mom" I yelled, "she said Lazlo", unfortunantly it wasn't my birthday.
The next was called Sheriff John. This show was a precursor to PBS’s Mister Rodgers but if they would have made Sheriff John commercial free and allowed children’s attention span not to be interrupted then he would have become Nation Wide.
But, that’s for another blog, for another time, and I WILL get to it.
That’s the Lazlo Report for Tuesday January, 9th 2007
From Noah to the Nazis, Who Would’a Figgered?
To all of those who try and dismiss Noah’s Ark just because there isn’t scientific proof that there wasn’t a flood at about the time when Noah began work on the Ark according to the Bible, be it layers of rock sediment or whatever, I have the following to say:
First of all it probably wasn’t raining when Noah and a crew of probably thousands began the work, nor while they were working on it or they wouldn’t have been able to get it done in time. Noah wasn’t a Chicken Little going around saying”The Sky is opening, the sky is Opening” He merely told his followers to gather one of each specie and to build a ship large enough to carry them through a flood of great size. He told them that those who believed in God should go with him to be saved.
Next, there’s no mention as to when the great flood started, just that it rained for forty days and forty nights and that the Ark came to rest upon a mountain (Ararat).
Also, for someone who was supposed to have lived 600 years, what exactly is forty days forty and forty nights? And when again was he born?
Last, if any ship was to land on top of a volcano with hot ash falling on it, possibly twice or more, the carbon dating would be changed. This is how God works in mysterious ways, NOT to let bonehead, non-believers, find His Ark and then tear down the existence of it by experiments made up by mortal men. It’s quite possible that God does have a plan and it doesn’t include humans finding out when Noah sailed that Ark. By directing the Ark to land atop a volcano, He knew that the carbon dating would be thrown off by future man thousands of years later than normal and the men who built the Ark could have been here as early as 10,000 years ago for all we know.
It’s called faith ladies and gentlemen, something that this planet is starting to loose and that I find that sad.
Finally, it is man who has been reinterpreting the Bible for centuries and rewriting the words of God, not to mention the history books that our children our reading in class these days. What happened to teaching them about World War II and the Nazi occupation and everything that we could learn from that? What happened to teaching our children about the consentration camp? What happened to teaching them about the Nazi’s taking over France and Belgium just after Belgium gave England $600 Million dollars because they were bankrupted and America was just sitting there doing nothing because we were liberal pacifists and didn’t want to get involved at the time? THAT’S the REAL HISTORY !!! Insignificant little bugs like liberal professors who think that they can rewrite thousands, if not millions, of years of history by coming up with their “theory” of what happened should take a look at the word “theory” and by definition itself, it is just that, just a theory, where as what is discussed by theologians world wide and printed in almost every Bible is that the story of Jesus is true, so why should we not believe Noah and his Ark?
As one who thinks in quantum terms, Einstein said it best in that “Time is a relative term”.
This same statements above can also explain the Flying Saucer or The Extraterrestrial question surrounding every corner of the world at this very moment. THERE AREN’T ANY!! It’s as plain as that. The answer to this riddle is that man has been traveling trough time Governments who have this knowledge can not let us know that they do this for several very complex reasons and I do not need to explain them but a few examples will suffice.
A) If we can travel back and forth in time, then we had the technology to go to the future, get the information, and build a time machine.
B) Since A is true, our Government would never want anyone to know that we only let technology loose in spurts or as it is discovered, either by natural discovery or by spy’s. (informants) (government informant) (area 51)
There’s far more to this but to explain time and relativity would take up twenty pages so like Jesus you need faith. You can also do research with Google as I did starting with Albert Einstein and his work on it but I warn you it’s heavy stuff.
The only thing that we need to worry about is that this knowledge not fall into the wrong hands. There are two types of humans on this planet; Peaceful Pacifists and Barbarians. While this message has nothing to do with politics, terrorists are barbaric, they are barbarians. To give a terrorist the tool to travel through time would be worse than giving them a nuclear weapon and that is barbaric in itself. The Peaceful Pacifists will loose if the Barbarians get either of these weapons, which is for sure!
I see it so sad that like the Ark so many things in History are dismissed by liberal thinking people who believe that they are on a path of science but they are so far off the path of truth that they become blind to what they are searching for. These people who look for the ark have the story written for them, they have the mountain right in front of them, they see a faint image in a camera but still they say no there is no Ark….WHY? Is that what a Liberal is? Someone who is a “disbeliever”? Someone who just always says no, that’s not it? As I listen to TV now a days, that’s what it sound to me, someone who just says “No, that’s not the way it’s supposed to be, I want it to be this way”….That’s what a liberal is now. Or I hear that a liberal just says the fuck word allot on television, or many of the words that are going to be bleeped out anyway. Why use that language if they know they are going to be bleeped out on time delay tape? To be cool? To impress the young? To teach my children? I know I don’t get it. Actually at a certain point it just pisses me off and I change the channel. Too bad for the advertisers.
Well,, as usual I am off the subject.. but I think that I have made three very good points today. Please think about them, pass the word around, especially about not letting people like Iran getting a nuke. It would be like Nazi Germany all over again and I don’t think people have any clue as to the ramifications of that.
That’s the Lazlo Report for Monday January 8, 2007
First of all it probably wasn’t raining when Noah and a crew of probably thousands began the work, nor while they were working on it or they wouldn’t have been able to get it done in time. Noah wasn’t a Chicken Little going around saying”The Sky is opening, the sky is Opening” He merely told his followers to gather one of each specie and to build a ship large enough to carry them through a flood of great size. He told them that those who believed in God should go with him to be saved.
Next, there’s no mention as to when the great flood started, just that it rained for forty days and forty nights and that the Ark came to rest upon a mountain (Ararat).
Also, for someone who was supposed to have lived 600 years, what exactly is forty days forty and forty nights? And when again was he born?
Last, if any ship was to land on top of a volcano with hot ash falling on it, possibly twice or more, the carbon dating would be changed. This is how God works in mysterious ways, NOT to let bonehead, non-believers, find His Ark and then tear down the existence of it by experiments made up by mortal men. It’s quite possible that God does have a plan and it doesn’t include humans finding out when Noah sailed that Ark. By directing the Ark to land atop a volcano, He knew that the carbon dating would be thrown off by future man thousands of years later than normal and the men who built the Ark could have been here as early as 10,000 years ago for all we know.
It’s called faith ladies and gentlemen, something that this planet is starting to loose and that I find that sad.
Finally, it is man who has been reinterpreting the Bible for centuries and rewriting the words of God, not to mention the history books that our children our reading in class these days. What happened to teaching them about World War II and the Nazi occupation and everything that we could learn from that? What happened to teaching our children about the consentration camp? What happened to teaching them about the Nazi’s taking over France and Belgium just after Belgium gave England $600 Million dollars because they were bankrupted and America was just sitting there doing nothing because we were liberal pacifists and didn’t want to get involved at the time? THAT’S the REAL HISTORY !!! Insignificant little bugs like liberal professors who think that they can rewrite thousands, if not millions, of years of history by coming up with their “theory” of what happened should take a look at the word “theory” and by definition itself, it is just that, just a theory, where as what is discussed by theologians world wide and printed in almost every Bible is that the story of Jesus is true, so why should we not believe Noah and his Ark?
As one who thinks in quantum terms, Einstein said it best in that “Time is a relative term”.
This same statements above can also explain the Flying Saucer or The Extraterrestrial question surrounding every corner of the world at this very moment. THERE AREN’T ANY!! It’s as plain as that. The answer to this riddle is that man has been traveling trough time Governments who have this knowledge can not let us know that they do this for several very complex reasons and I do not need to explain them but a few examples will suffice.
A) If we can travel back and forth in time, then we had the technology to go to the future, get the information, and build a time machine.
B) Since A is true, our Government would never want anyone to know that we only let technology loose in spurts or as it is discovered, either by natural discovery or by spy’s. (informants) (government informant) (area 51)
There’s far more to this but to explain time and relativity would take up twenty pages so like Jesus you need faith. You can also do research with Google as I did starting with Albert Einstein and his work on it but I warn you it’s heavy stuff.
The only thing that we need to worry about is that this knowledge not fall into the wrong hands. There are two types of humans on this planet; Peaceful Pacifists and Barbarians. While this message has nothing to do with politics, terrorists are barbaric, they are barbarians. To give a terrorist the tool to travel through time would be worse than giving them a nuclear weapon and that is barbaric in itself. The Peaceful Pacifists will loose if the Barbarians get either of these weapons, which is for sure!
I see it so sad that like the Ark so many things in History are dismissed by liberal thinking people who believe that they are on a path of science but they are so far off the path of truth that they become blind to what they are searching for. These people who look for the ark have the story written for them, they have the mountain right in front of them, they see a faint image in a camera but still they say no there is no Ark….WHY? Is that what a Liberal is? Someone who is a “disbeliever”? Someone who just always says no, that’s not it? As I listen to TV now a days, that’s what it sound to me, someone who just says “No, that’s not the way it’s supposed to be, I want it to be this way”….That’s what a liberal is now. Or I hear that a liberal just says the fuck word allot on television, or many of the words that are going to be bleeped out anyway. Why use that language if they know they are going to be bleeped out on time delay tape? To be cool? To impress the young? To teach my children? I know I don’t get it. Actually at a certain point it just pisses me off and I change the channel. Too bad for the advertisers.
Well,, as usual I am off the subject.. but I think that I have made three very good points today. Please think about them, pass the word around, especially about not letting people like Iran getting a nuke. It would be like Nazi Germany all over again and I don’t think people have any clue as to the ramifications of that.
That’s the Lazlo Report for Monday January 8, 2007
So I’ll Play Devil’s Advocate On The Death Tax
The death in the United States right now for the super rich should be near 80% in my opinion. For one thing, I am not rich so I can’t just throw out numbers and make you all think that I am rich. If I were rich I would change my Estate to give away all but 20% of my nest egg to charity. The reason is that my children, while I want them to have everything I didn’t have while growing up, should also learn how to respect those things, and the only way learn that is to work for what they get. My oldest son already does, he’s 26 and married.
Take for instance Paris Hilton. Do you actually think that she’s ever mowed a lawn? Done her own laundry? Cleaned her bathroom including the toilet? I very much doubt it. And as for that show that she did, that “reality show” That was so far removed from reality that I got physically sick from watching just one episode of it, I really, really did.
And so what if her grandfather was Conrad Hilton and was worth $300 million, is that any reason for this little temptress has to flaunt her little titties at dinner parties for the other rich and famous people to look at? Doubtful.
And then there’s Athena Onassis, the last of the heiress to the great fortunes of that Greek dude. I say let her have a nice 20 million And give her sister the same and give the rest give all TO CHERATY. Mercy, there are so may blood suckers on that gravy train that it makes you sick to read about it. I first thought that this sweet little 19 year old was just going to renounce the name and go off with her horse riding boyfriend but now as of this year, she wants it ALL….billions and billions of dollars in skyscrapers, oil takers, islands and all sorts of things that this chick is never , ever going to use in her life time. And again, she’s been so privileged that she’s never had to have any real job having to do with any real labor. She didn’t do any planning to make that fortune so why should she have any claim to it? Blood?. Let her make her own empire. Shit, with 10% of his estimated ½ a trillion dollars I think she could do pretty good at something. “Horse Farm maybe” Shovel some shit lady, that will teach you some character and backbone.
The following is part of an email that I received from my great sister Dotty but it’s appropriate in this blog; something that the Paris Hilton’s of the world never experienced the:
To all the kids that survived the 1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's please read on . . . . .. . .
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking! As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.
Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank Kool-Aid made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because, we were always playing outside… Good Lord!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K, really. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem. We also built forts out of cardboard boxes, old washing machines mom’s favorite sheets or just about anything that could house two or three of us yet no one got herpes. We did not have Play station’s, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound, CD's or Ipods, no cell phones!, no personal computers , no Internet or chat rooms....... WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays. We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not poke out very many eyes.We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them! Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment, imagine that!! The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of!! They actually sided with the law!
These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all without a bunch of councilors telling us that ‘we cal all be winners in life’…YUK!! If you are one of these people, congratulations. (thank you anonymous email person)
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids before the lawyers and that government regulated so much of our lives “for our own good” gets a hold of this blog and asks me to retract some of it, or they just flat out delete my blog all together. And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were. Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!
I got off track just a little but my main point is that this country has been turning out in the past five decades a bunch of lazy, ungrateful, turds. About the Death tax, well, rich or not I will pay my fair share because I have earned the right to do so. And while some may think that I’m insensitive, I will say this; When a forty-five year old man wants a Scooby-doo lunch box for his birthday and just loves that lunch box all year around, and I call him mentally challenged. But then when a fifty-five year old man wants to throw every single 13 million illegal Mexican out of this country all at once, now he’s retarded. That would be a “Mexihunt” and while they’re still streaming over the border at record numbers we have retards working for us here in our Government. And they call me insensitive?
That’s the Lazlo Report for Sunday, January 7th 2007
Take for instance Paris Hilton. Do you actually think that she’s ever mowed a lawn? Done her own laundry? Cleaned her bathroom including the toilet? I very much doubt it. And as for that show that she did, that “reality show” That was so far removed from reality that I got physically sick from watching just one episode of it, I really, really did.
And so what if her grandfather was Conrad Hilton and was worth $300 million, is that any reason for this little temptress has to flaunt her little titties at dinner parties for the other rich and famous people to look at? Doubtful.
And then there’s Athena Onassis, the last of the heiress to the great fortunes of that Greek dude. I say let her have a nice 20 million And give her sister the same and give the rest give all TO CHERATY. Mercy, there are so may blood suckers on that gravy train that it makes you sick to read about it. I first thought that this sweet little 19 year old was just going to renounce the name and go off with her horse riding boyfriend but now as of this year, she wants it ALL….billions and billions of dollars in skyscrapers, oil takers, islands and all sorts of things that this chick is never , ever going to use in her life time. And again, she’s been so privileged that she’s never had to have any real job having to do with any real labor. She didn’t do any planning to make that fortune so why should she have any claim to it? Blood?. Let her make her own empire. Shit, with 10% of his estimated ½ a trillion dollars I think she could do pretty good at something. “Horse Farm maybe” Shovel some shit lady, that will teach you some character and backbone.
The following is part of an email that I received from my great sister Dotty but it’s appropriate in this blog; something that the Paris Hilton’s of the world never experienced the:
To all the kids that survived the 1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's please read on . . . . .. . .
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking! As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.
Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank Kool-Aid made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because, we were always playing outside… Good Lord!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K, really. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem. We also built forts out of cardboard boxes, old washing machines mom’s favorite sheets or just about anything that could house two or three of us yet no one got herpes. We did not have Play station’s, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound, CD's or Ipods, no cell phones!, no personal computers , no Internet or chat rooms....... WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays. We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not poke out very many eyes.We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them! Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment, imagine that!! The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of!! They actually sided with the law!
These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all without a bunch of councilors telling us that ‘we cal all be winners in life’…YUK!! If you are one of these people, congratulations. (thank you anonymous email person)
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids before the lawyers and that government regulated so much of our lives “for our own good” gets a hold of this blog and asks me to retract some of it, or they just flat out delete my blog all together. And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were. Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!
I got off track just a little but my main point is that this country has been turning out in the past five decades a bunch of lazy, ungrateful, turds. About the Death tax, well, rich or not I will pay my fair share because I have earned the right to do so. And while some may think that I’m insensitive, I will say this; When a forty-five year old man wants a Scooby-doo lunch box for his birthday and just loves that lunch box all year around, and I call him mentally challenged. But then when a fifty-five year old man wants to throw every single 13 million illegal Mexican out of this country all at once, now he’s retarded. That would be a “Mexihunt” and while they’re still streaming over the border at record numbers we have retards working for us here in our Government. And they call me insensitive?
That’s the Lazlo Report for Sunday, January 7th 2007
More on Commercial TV
Oberon said...
........you're not kidding.....it sucks.....hard.......i've been collecting movies and stuff to watch on tape and disc....
When I wrote my last blog on Commercial TV, the above comment was my first comment that I had received on that blog. I am posting it because I wanted you all to see the gravity in which we live in today, the selfishness, the ignorance and just emphasize more of what’s in store for all of us.
Now, I am not faulting this person, as a matter of fact I am saluting him on his honesty because I too am taping just about everything I can, putting it on disk or tape or whatever but that wasn’t what my blog was about. Since the subject was brought up though, you might as well be selfish and keep burning those disks, taping those VCR tapes, DVD’s and whatever means of recording that you can because if you had fully understood my blog to begin with you would have read into it that eventually, not only will they eliminate channel’s 2 through 13 (which they already have) but they are going to start to eliminate YOUR RIGHTS to other FREE services such as 911 just as they did away with 411.
Does anyone remember 411? You know, the number that you used to call for information on the telephone? It used to be free and now it costs at least $0.45 no matter where you live and now no one but me is saying anything about it. Well you just watch out and mark my words; next it will cost you money to dial and call 911. The FCC will find a way to charge you for calling 911, another free service that has always been there for us as an emergency will be gone.
And it’s not just the FCC, its other departments of the Governments too, but the FCC has its hands on a lot of cookies in the cookie jar. And when is the last time that you called “Time”? I'll bet that if you called your local operator and asked for the number for Time that he or she would ask you if you were on medication. I’ll also bet that many of you reading this aren’t even old enough to even know what calling Time is.
The FCC will next put a “V-Chip” on television shows so that we will not be able to record them in out of our own homes, which will come in about three or four years. they already have V-chips on many of the pre-recorded DVDs and VCR tapes.
So in the meanwhile OBERON, and the rest of you too, either go ahead and be ignorant to all of this and do nothing. Keep being selfish and keep recording all that you can because eventually they are going to force us all to watch the commercials whether we want to or not otherwise we will just have to learn to turn it off. Me, for now, I try and watch the old movies on Turner Classic Movies but as I said in my forst blog, even they have the 15 minutet commercials in between movies so that’s when I get something to eat. Trouble is, how much can one man eat?
That’s The Lazlo Report for Saturday, January 6thth 2007
........you're not kidding.....it sucks.....hard.......i've been collecting movies and stuff to watch on tape and disc....
When I wrote my last blog on Commercial TV, the above comment was my first comment that I had received on that blog. I am posting it because I wanted you all to see the gravity in which we live in today, the selfishness, the ignorance and just emphasize more of what’s in store for all of us.
Now, I am not faulting this person, as a matter of fact I am saluting him on his honesty because I too am taping just about everything I can, putting it on disk or tape or whatever but that wasn’t what my blog was about. Since the subject was brought up though, you might as well be selfish and keep burning those disks, taping those VCR tapes, DVD’s and whatever means of recording that you can because if you had fully understood my blog to begin with you would have read into it that eventually, not only will they eliminate channel’s 2 through 13 (which they already have) but they are going to start to eliminate YOUR RIGHTS to other FREE services such as 911 just as they did away with 411.
Does anyone remember 411? You know, the number that you used to call for information on the telephone? It used to be free and now it costs at least $0.45 no matter where you live and now no one but me is saying anything about it. Well you just watch out and mark my words; next it will cost you money to dial and call 911. The FCC will find a way to charge you for calling 911, another free service that has always been there for us as an emergency will be gone.
And it’s not just the FCC, its other departments of the Governments too, but the FCC has its hands on a lot of cookies in the cookie jar. And when is the last time that you called “Time”? I'll bet that if you called your local operator and asked for the number for Time that he or she would ask you if you were on medication. I’ll also bet that many of you reading this aren’t even old enough to even know what calling Time is.
The FCC will next put a “V-Chip” on television shows so that we will not be able to record them in out of our own homes, which will come in about three or four years. they already have V-chips on many of the pre-recorded DVDs and VCR tapes.
So in the meanwhile OBERON, and the rest of you too, either go ahead and be ignorant to all of this and do nothing. Keep being selfish and keep recording all that you can because eventually they are going to force us all to watch the commercials whether we want to or not otherwise we will just have to learn to turn it off. Me, for now, I try and watch the old movies on Turner Classic Movies but as I said in my forst blog, even they have the 15 minutet commercials in between movies so that’s when I get something to eat. Trouble is, how much can one man eat?
That’s The Lazlo Report for Saturday, January 6thth 2007
My Parents Aren’t Rich
My parents live in a modest home in Northwest Ohio. They have lived in a total of fourteen homes in their 53 year marriage. They have lived all over the United States but they have come home to retire because they both grew up not too far from this area and now well into their 70’s they wanted to be closer to family, their sisters and brothers, and the people that they grew up with.
By some people’s standards one may think that they were rich, I assure you they are not. By other’s, the one’s that can afford a $350,000 home here in this area, they are just down right poor folk, well that isn’t the case either.
The truth is that even though people come over to borrow $10 here and $20 there, my parents are living off of my father’s Social Security income ONLY and my mom makes a couple of hundred dollars a month doing some sewing for my dad’s old friends in their old business that they both used to run out of the basement where my mother would sew up a storm and make all sorts of things for different companies and my father would do the shipping. He took on the shipping as his full time job, as well as salesman, when he retired from his carrier about ten years ago. None the less, after paying for material, we’re only talking a couple of hundred dollars a month to pay for electricity and heating, something that we all do now and then, you know, side jobs.
You see, to get to the house that they live in right now, my mom and dad BOTH had to have two jobs while me and my three siblings were growing up. At one point my dad even had to have three jobs, well, for over twenty of those years. They used to struggle so hard just to get by and to get the material to make us cloths, let alone buy us name brand cloths that it amazes me that they found the money to feed us too.
During all this time of raising children, these two people also had the gumption to remodel each of the houses that me and my three siblings lived in so that we could upgrade to a better house about every four or five years. Where my dad found the money I have no idea because as I write out my bills each month I struggle myself and while I own my own home, I worked two jobs for several years, my wife also works we have not the resources nor the time to fix up our home. We are however very thankful to the lord and our parents for what we have.
So now when these folks like my own godchildren, who have been raised on the welfare system since birth, along with their parents who collect Social Security too, without ever having paid into the system like my dad did for over fifty five years and I did for thirty years, come over to borrow a $10 bill, it still bothers just a me little because I don’t think that these folks understand that they in fact bring home more money each month than my mom and dad.
They also take advantage of my parents who have that Christian spirit in them and finding it hard to say no to a somewhat nice young person, especially when it is my Goddaughter. However my parents can be just too nice sometimes. There comes a time when you just have to be nice to some people and pleasant to everyone. That's where my grandmother's saying comes into play and has been my New Years resolution and I hope to spread it everywhere; it goes as follows: You can be Oh So Nice Or Oh So Pleasant; I Recommend Pleasant
That saying comes from Jimmy Stewart in the movie Harvey but it is so perfect and is so appropriate for my life….well everyone’s life for that matter. Anyhow, I can’t get this feeling of them being leaches off my mind while at the same time I do care for them dearly. There just comes a time when you just have to say no to people, especially when those people have been living off of the federal government since they were born and have never had a job. Their mother has never had a job, and I mean NEVER had a job…not one, and she still collects Social Security. The last I heard, you had to pay into the system before you could get paid back out from that system. Well, that’s a subject for another blog.
My whole point to this blog is that my parents are two of the most giving people you would ever want to meet but just because they live in a very nice house does not mean they are rich. They’re always working and they’re still in their 70’s. My dad is 76 and my mom is 73. Outside of a bad knee my dad is in pretty good health; well hearth attacks run in his family. Our family is suffering from my mom’s memory problems but her health is great. She keeps busy and is generally pretty happy, well ok she complains to me allot. All in all they are in remarkable health for folks in their mid 70’s but they are defiantly not rich. I wish they were, I would go with them and show them the world.
That’s The Lazlo Report for Friday January, 5th 2007
By some people’s standards one may think that they were rich, I assure you they are not. By other’s, the one’s that can afford a $350,000 home here in this area, they are just down right poor folk, well that isn’t the case either.
The truth is that even though people come over to borrow $10 here and $20 there, my parents are living off of my father’s Social Security income ONLY and my mom makes a couple of hundred dollars a month doing some sewing for my dad’s old friends in their old business that they both used to run out of the basement where my mother would sew up a storm and make all sorts of things for different companies and my father would do the shipping. He took on the shipping as his full time job, as well as salesman, when he retired from his carrier about ten years ago. None the less, after paying for material, we’re only talking a couple of hundred dollars a month to pay for electricity and heating, something that we all do now and then, you know, side jobs.
You see, to get to the house that they live in right now, my mom and dad BOTH had to have two jobs while me and my three siblings were growing up. At one point my dad even had to have three jobs, well, for over twenty of those years. They used to struggle so hard just to get by and to get the material to make us cloths, let alone buy us name brand cloths that it amazes me that they found the money to feed us too.
During all this time of raising children, these two people also had the gumption to remodel each of the houses that me and my three siblings lived in so that we could upgrade to a better house about every four or five years. Where my dad found the money I have no idea because as I write out my bills each month I struggle myself and while I own my own home, I worked two jobs for several years, my wife also works we have not the resources nor the time to fix up our home. We are however very thankful to the lord and our parents for what we have.
So now when these folks like my own godchildren, who have been raised on the welfare system since birth, along with their parents who collect Social Security too, without ever having paid into the system like my dad did for over fifty five years and I did for thirty years, come over to borrow a $10 bill, it still bothers just a me little because I don’t think that these folks understand that they in fact bring home more money each month than my mom and dad.
They also take advantage of my parents who have that Christian spirit in them and finding it hard to say no to a somewhat nice young person, especially when it is my Goddaughter. However my parents can be just too nice sometimes. There comes a time when you just have to be nice to some people and pleasant to everyone. That's where my grandmother's saying comes into play and has been my New Years resolution and I hope to spread it everywhere; it goes as follows: You can be Oh So Nice Or Oh So Pleasant; I Recommend Pleasant
That saying comes from Jimmy Stewart in the movie Harvey but it is so perfect and is so appropriate for my life….well everyone’s life for that matter. Anyhow, I can’t get this feeling of them being leaches off my mind while at the same time I do care for them dearly. There just comes a time when you just have to say no to people, especially when those people have been living off of the federal government since they were born and have never had a job. Their mother has never had a job, and I mean NEVER had a job…not one, and she still collects Social Security. The last I heard, you had to pay into the system before you could get paid back out from that system. Well, that’s a subject for another blog.
My whole point to this blog is that my parents are two of the most giving people you would ever want to meet but just because they live in a very nice house does not mean they are rich. They’re always working and they’re still in their 70’s. My dad is 76 and my mom is 73. Outside of a bad knee my dad is in pretty good health; well hearth attacks run in his family. Our family is suffering from my mom’s memory problems but her health is great. She keeps busy and is generally pretty happy, well ok she complains to me allot. All in all they are in remarkable health for folks in their mid 70’s but they are defiantly not rich. I wish they were, I would go with them and show them the world.
That’s The Lazlo Report for Friday January, 5th 2007
Giving Whoopi Airtime
This one is Short and sweet, hopefully to the point. Several nights ago on Hanity & Colmbs, of Fox News, they had as their guest, Whoopi Goldberg. (born Caryn Elaine Johnson for those who give a crap)
Now even if Mr. Hanity was to tear Whoopi a new one on his show that night, which I'm sure he did, I mean I don’t know I didn’t waste my time staying up to listen to her liberal crap that night, I just don't understand why she or her “pootie” is asked to be a guest on anyone's show for her to spew out her liberal agenda to the world when she is a COMEDIAN, not a politician, not a spokesperson, not a Ambassador to any counrty,nothing. If she’s not telling jokes she’s just an average Jane who gets airtime because she’s rich.
Now Sean Hanity is truly a great American because he works every day doing his best to better the county that has given him the things that he has, the opportunity to use his talent in his crusade to make a better United States and is not keeping all of his “winnings” or by that I mean he is giving back to the society that has been so good to him.
What I see Whoppi Goldberg do, the very rich Whoppi Goldberg do, is to complain about local government, complain about federal government, complain that no one gets taken care of by that government, that she isn’t taken care of by the government and that George Bush is the spawn of the Devil himself.
Dear Miss Whoppi: I have a suggestion for you; get off your fat ass, stop complaining and do a free concert that is not political at all, just funny shit (if even remember how) then donate all of that money, every red cent, to any poor people that you want. Now, THAT’S doing something. NOT going on Hanity & Colms plus numerous other television and radio shows and complaining about that evil George Bus. All I hear is that you can bitch pretty good but here are some facts that may surprise you:
World War II cost the United States an amount equal to approximately a full year's GDP -- adjusted for inflation, equal to about $12 trillion dollars back in 1945.
WWII cost America more than 400,000 killed in action, and nearly 100,000 still missing in action.
The Iraq war has, so far, cost the US about $160 billion dollars, which is roughly what 9/11 cost New York. It has also cost about 2,200 American lives, which is roughly 2/3 of the 3,000 lives that the Jihad snuffed out on 9/11. But the cost of not fighting and winning WWII would have been unimaginably greater, it’s inconceivable what this country would be like because there would be no “African American” people under the American Nazi Government.
And if the terrorist win the War on Terror that your adversary, George W. Bush, is so strongly fighting against, then there will again be slaves to another régime, this time it will be called the Islamic Régime and they don’t like black people either. Think about it Miss Whoopie.
That’s the Lazlo Report for Thursday January 4rd, 2007
Now even if Mr. Hanity was to tear Whoopi a new one on his show that night, which I'm sure he did, I mean I don’t know I didn’t waste my time staying up to listen to her liberal crap that night, I just don't understand why she or her “pootie” is asked to be a guest on anyone's show for her to spew out her liberal agenda to the world when she is a COMEDIAN, not a politician, not a spokesperson, not a Ambassador to any counrty,nothing. If she’s not telling jokes she’s just an average Jane who gets airtime because she’s rich.
Now Sean Hanity is truly a great American because he works every day doing his best to better the county that has given him the things that he has, the opportunity to use his talent in his crusade to make a better United States and is not keeping all of his “winnings” or by that I mean he is giving back to the society that has been so good to him.
What I see Whoppi Goldberg do, the very rich Whoppi Goldberg do, is to complain about local government, complain about federal government, complain that no one gets taken care of by that government, that she isn’t taken care of by the government and that George Bush is the spawn of the Devil himself.
Dear Miss Whoppi: I have a suggestion for you; get off your fat ass, stop complaining and do a free concert that is not political at all, just funny shit (if even remember how) then donate all of that money, every red cent, to any poor people that you want. Now, THAT’S doing something. NOT going on Hanity & Colms plus numerous other television and radio shows and complaining about that evil George Bus. All I hear is that you can bitch pretty good but here are some facts that may surprise you:
World War II cost the United States an amount equal to approximately a full year's GDP -- adjusted for inflation, equal to about $12 trillion dollars back in 1945.
WWII cost America more than 400,000 killed in action, and nearly 100,000 still missing in action.
The Iraq war has, so far, cost the US about $160 billion dollars, which is roughly what 9/11 cost New York. It has also cost about 2,200 American lives, which is roughly 2/3 of the 3,000 lives that the Jihad snuffed out on 9/11. But the cost of not fighting and winning WWII would have been unimaginably greater, it’s inconceivable what this country would be like because there would be no “African American” people under the American Nazi Government.
And if the terrorist win the War on Terror that your adversary, George W. Bush, is so strongly fighting against, then there will again be slaves to another régime, this time it will be called the Islamic Régime and they don’t like black people either. Think about it Miss Whoopie.
That’s the Lazlo Report for Thursday January 4rd, 2007
Mom Can Still Tell A Killer Story
Once in a great while my mom tells me a great story about her growing up in Kentucky, very poor, during the depression, but in a very loving home with her fourteen brothers and sisters, in a six bedroom home, where there was always one lucky child, the oldest, that got the single room by him or herself.
There was the story of the single pair of shiny new shoes that my Grandfather bought for my mother and her sister, of nearly the same age, that while they were moving to their brand new larger house they took turns wearing so that they could try and impress the people in other cars as they drove along the near baron dusty highway knowing that such behavior would land them a strapping from my Grandpa’s belt.. He was no preacher but they were brought up strict and to them THAT was sneaky. That’s what cracks me up, how far we have come in society and how right I think he was. He kept my mother an honest woman and nowadays that is not easy to find, if not impossible. BUT! ooh hot mama, a ten year old… “shake dem shoes”. Funny.
Then there was the time that my Uncle, the oldest, cut school to go coon hunting and while on the way home he met up with my mom. He was all wet and my mom asked why. Well, just like a coon does it went out on a tree that had fell onto a river bank so my uncle thought he had the coon trapped. NOPE. The coon just jumped onto the river bank so my uncle did the same thing, bad move on my uncle’s part because although he was hunting for coon, all he got was wet.
So when he got home he thought he was safe by just telling my Grandma that he fell into the creek on the way home, my mom just said “she didn’t see what happened” so she didn’t lie but on the other hand she just omitted the truth. However, he had made the mistake of leaving four rounds of 30/30 bullets in his overalls and he had put the overalls on the potbelly stove to dry off. So in about a half an hour later there go those bullets going off in the kitchen. Needless to say my uncle got his ass strapped many times for that and luckily no one got shot or hurt, well except for his my uncle’s ass and a few of his fifteen year old ass pimples too but that’s his personal business and we won’t go into that will we. :-).
Spending all this time with my mom as I have in the past several months is so worth it. To anyone that says that this 73 year old woman has memory problems I say go to hell because she can whip up a good one any time and still remember how to sew and fix a cup of coffee.. Hell, she has it spewing out of her; you just have to get her started like a gas pump. Today she told me about a sibling that pooped (yes, shit) on his sister’s barnyard animal as he hid in the loft of the barn, for no good reason, just twisted a little bit I guess. See why I can’t use real names! My family would burn me at the stake!!!
These stories are abundant and so long as mom is alive I plan to write more. We figured out that her medical condition is quite simple. She’s been doing so many things for so many people for so long that at age 73 she just has too many things on her plate and just hasn’t learned to say no. I am trying to teach her something that her mother taught me. “You can be Oh So Nice in this world Turry” she told me, she always called me Turbule Turry, “or you can you Oh So Pleasant, well I recommend Pleasant Turry”
Turry, she always called me Turry.
With that advice in hand I am trying to convince my mother to just be Oh So Pleasant every day so that she can have a pleasant day and she doesn’t have to be nice to everyone and say yes to everyone. I tell her just tell people that she doesn’t have time, and slow down. That way she will not be so frustrated all the time about having to do so much work every day. Friggin Christmas almost killed her I swear. Anyhow, more stories at another time.
That’s the Lazlo Report for Wednesday 1-3-2007
There was the story of the single pair of shiny new shoes that my Grandfather bought for my mother and her sister, of nearly the same age, that while they were moving to their brand new larger house they took turns wearing so that they could try and impress the people in other cars as they drove along the near baron dusty highway knowing that such behavior would land them a strapping from my Grandpa’s belt.. He was no preacher but they were brought up strict and to them THAT was sneaky. That’s what cracks me up, how far we have come in society and how right I think he was. He kept my mother an honest woman and nowadays that is not easy to find, if not impossible. BUT! ooh hot mama, a ten year old… “shake dem shoes”. Funny.
Then there was the time that my Uncle, the oldest, cut school to go coon hunting and while on the way home he met up with my mom. He was all wet and my mom asked why. Well, just like a coon does it went out on a tree that had fell onto a river bank so my uncle thought he had the coon trapped. NOPE. The coon just jumped onto the river bank so my uncle did the same thing, bad move on my uncle’s part because although he was hunting for coon, all he got was wet.
So when he got home he thought he was safe by just telling my Grandma that he fell into the creek on the way home, my mom just said “she didn’t see what happened” so she didn’t lie but on the other hand she just omitted the truth. However, he had made the mistake of leaving four rounds of 30/30 bullets in his overalls and he had put the overalls on the potbelly stove to dry off. So in about a half an hour later there go those bullets going off in the kitchen. Needless to say my uncle got his ass strapped many times for that and luckily no one got shot or hurt, well except for his my uncle’s ass and a few of his fifteen year old ass pimples too but that’s his personal business and we won’t go into that will we. :-).
Spending all this time with my mom as I have in the past several months is so worth it. To anyone that says that this 73 year old woman has memory problems I say go to hell because she can whip up a good one any time and still remember how to sew and fix a cup of coffee.. Hell, she has it spewing out of her; you just have to get her started like a gas pump. Today she told me about a sibling that pooped (yes, shit) on his sister’s barnyard animal as he hid in the loft of the barn, for no good reason, just twisted a little bit I guess. See why I can’t use real names! My family would burn me at the stake!!!
These stories are abundant and so long as mom is alive I plan to write more. We figured out that her medical condition is quite simple. She’s been doing so many things for so many people for so long that at age 73 she just has too many things on her plate and just hasn’t learned to say no. I am trying to teach her something that her mother taught me. “You can be Oh So Nice in this world Turry” she told me, she always called me Turbule Turry, “or you can you Oh So Pleasant, well I recommend Pleasant Turry”
Turry, she always called me Turry.
With that advice in hand I am trying to convince my mother to just be Oh So Pleasant every day so that she can have a pleasant day and she doesn’t have to be nice to everyone and say yes to everyone. I tell her just tell people that she doesn’t have time, and slow down. That way she will not be so frustrated all the time about having to do so much work every day. Friggin Christmas almost killed her I swear. Anyhow, more stories at another time.
That’s the Lazlo Report for Wednesday 1-3-2007
Working For The I.A.T.S.E. Union At Age 19 In The 1970's
So my heart’s a flutter with delight as I’m just about to get up and shine my light. Oh wait I’m getting ahead of myself. OK I’ll set the scene. My initial call was for the AS (Angel Stadium in Anaheim, now used for the Dodgers too… anyhow) It was for ZZ Tops that was to head lined the show with Journey as their back-up.
Anyhow, it takes two sixteen hour days to set up a stage at the AS. You’re talking metal scaffolding,hammering it together and ploping sheets of plywood on to it. So there I was, a nineteen year old, taking 1” sheets of 4X8 plywood and tossing it up to other guy as you’re building stages for the speaker stands, three high on each side of the already two-high stage so we’re talking a five story high, of six foot each, and then on top of that a lazar apparatus that goes atop of the speaker stand. It was a show!
OK, so I got all 32 hours of the call for the build up but I wasn't asked for the take-down, why, because I would have been on 2-1/2 times pay. That makes perfect sence in the real worold but this is the entertainment business so it doesn't have to make any sence. They needed someone to guide the band off as they exited stage left, I think it was left, well that doesn't matter, what matters is that I got another call. Another call meant mo-money. It was a four hour call at regular time so I said “Sure I’ll take it”
Besides I got to keep my backstage pass. That meant that I got to stick around and loiter, eating at the catered tables, or I could just watch the show, which is exactly what I did.
So as the band is getting ready to go on stage, one of the bearded guys (Hill I think) said “Hey ole buddy, ain’tcha gonna have a beer or two?” and I said “I’ don’t know man, I gotta go ask my dispatcher and all”, and he said ….Well I don't want to go into the long drawn out conversation between me and this guy from ZZ Tops but needless to say the next thing I knew was that my dispatcher told me that if the band siad to have a beer then have a beer but , I better not get drunk and make a famous person trip and fall on their ass as they walked off stage because if I do I would NEVER EVER get another gig like this again. Well, I took his advice and just grabbed two soda pops.
So all of these young people, my age, are up against a chain link fence, (my wife later tells me she was there too, so she says) and here I am leaning against one of the 4X4X6 base speakers, on stage mind you, with the Dusty Hill on his base six feet from me and Frank Beard ,the drummer, only four feet away from me and I’m drinking a 7-up and smoking my Kools....I'm telling you it was a show.
Now, I thought that LaGrange was the final song so I stood up and was about to get ready with my flashlight. AHH! But it wasn’t. It was the Tush Tour and Tush was the last song. So here’s this guy behind me going “Pssst ….Pssst Hey you…yeah you buddy…hey… get off stage, they're filming us right now”. Now for what I have no idea and I never asked. And I don’t really care. I am hoping that some day I win a ZZ Tops DVD set like I did when I won the complete Rush DVD set, I may see myself someday at an early age being a dork; hey, ya never know.
Anyhow the song ends and the entire stadium goes Jet Black………….. My flashlight goes on and the band exits without even a stumble. Mission accomplished. Now, I can’t tell you about the time when the band invited me backstage into their trailer to smoke weed and to do other drugs to get me high because that didn’t happen but I did meet Jeff Lynn, the lead guitar player for ELO, and he was a real nice guy. I still have one of his guitar pic’s too. :)
Oh yeah, just before the mad 8 hour rush to take down that stage at the Anaheim Stadium, I went back up and grabbed what I could, the towel that Frank Beard used and a pair of drum sticks of his; (many of them went to other people) my first wife made me throw away the sweaty towel. Looking back, I’m not sure even now if it’d be worth something but I know that I still wouldn’t give my son a spanking for breaking off the tip on one of the drum sticks. Now if it had been one of Jon Bonham’s drum sticks then I would have been murder and I would be writing this blog from prison.
That’s the Lazlo Report for Tuesday, January 2nd 2007.
Anyhow, it takes two sixteen hour days to set up a stage at the AS. You’re talking metal scaffolding,hammering it together and ploping sheets of plywood on to it. So there I was, a nineteen year old, taking 1” sheets of 4X8 plywood and tossing it up to other guy as you’re building stages for the speaker stands, three high on each side of the already two-high stage so we’re talking a five story high, of six foot each, and then on top of that a lazar apparatus that goes atop of the speaker stand. It was a show!
OK, so I got all 32 hours of the call for the build up but I wasn't asked for the take-down, why, because I would have been on 2-1/2 times pay. That makes perfect sence in the real worold but this is the entertainment business so it doesn't have to make any sence. They needed someone to guide the band off as they exited stage left, I think it was left, well that doesn't matter, what matters is that I got another call. Another call meant mo-money. It was a four hour call at regular time so I said “Sure I’ll take it”
Besides I got to keep my backstage pass. That meant that I got to stick around and loiter, eating at the catered tables, or I could just watch the show, which is exactly what I did.
So as the band is getting ready to go on stage, one of the bearded guys (Hill I think) said “Hey ole buddy, ain’tcha gonna have a beer or two?” and I said “I’ don’t know man, I gotta go ask my dispatcher and all”, and he said ….Well I don't want to go into the long drawn out conversation between me and this guy from ZZ Tops but needless to say the next thing I knew was that my dispatcher told me that if the band siad to have a beer then have a beer but , I better not get drunk and make a famous person trip and fall on their ass as they walked off stage because if I do I would NEVER EVER get another gig like this again. Well, I took his advice and just grabbed two soda pops.
So all of these young people, my age, are up against a chain link fence, (my wife later tells me she was there too, so she says) and here I am leaning against one of the 4X4X6 base speakers, on stage mind you, with the Dusty Hill on his base six feet from me and Frank Beard ,the drummer, only four feet away from me and I’m drinking a 7-up and smoking my Kools....I'm telling you it was a show.
Now, I thought that LaGrange was the final song so I stood up and was about to get ready with my flashlight. AHH! But it wasn’t. It was the Tush Tour and Tush was the last song. So here’s this guy behind me going “Pssst ….Pssst Hey you…yeah you buddy…hey… get off stage, they're filming us right now”. Now for what I have no idea and I never asked. And I don’t really care. I am hoping that some day I win a ZZ Tops DVD set like I did when I won the complete Rush DVD set, I may see myself someday at an early age being a dork; hey, ya never know.
Anyhow the song ends and the entire stadium goes Jet Black………….. My flashlight goes on and the band exits without even a stumble. Mission accomplished. Now, I can’t tell you about the time when the band invited me backstage into their trailer to smoke weed and to do other drugs to get me high because that didn’t happen but I did meet Jeff Lynn, the lead guitar player for ELO, and he was a real nice guy. I still have one of his guitar pic’s too. :)
Oh yeah, just before the mad 8 hour rush to take down that stage at the Anaheim Stadium, I went back up and grabbed what I could, the towel that Frank Beard used and a pair of drum sticks of his; (many of them went to other people) my first wife made me throw away the sweaty towel. Looking back, I’m not sure even now if it’d be worth something but I know that I still wouldn’t give my son a spanking for breaking off the tip on one of the drum sticks. Now if it had been one of Jon Bonham’s drum sticks then I would have been murder and I would be writing this blog from prison.
That’s the Lazlo Report for Tuesday, January 2nd 2007.
Commercial TV Just Keeps Getting Suckier
So 2007 is to be the beginning of what? It's tend of channels 2 through 13 as I see it. And the people in charge of the airwaves, the FCC, have seen fit to give this bandwidth to Broadband and Cell Phones. Well I wasn’t asked and I’ll bet a dollar to a doughnut that about ten million people across the United States that use their antenna atop their house were not asked either.
As I understood, “Commercial TV” was set up as a free service so that the commercials that interrupted the shows that played on it paid for those shows. So now they want us to pay them again? Commercials on TV have always sucked, plain and simple, but now the advertisers, along with the FCC, are taking control of our lives and people are just sitting back and taking this crap. There used to be a fine line between cable TV and Commercial TV and now they’re beginning to mix. Here are a couple of examples:
A) Not long ago there was only Robert Osborne in between each movie on TCM, now there’s commercials and he's got a helper too. the helper is ok but we do not need commercials self-seving or not.
B) They used to go directly to each movie on a “PAY CHANNEL” and now we all have to watch these stupid self-serving commercials, on a pay station!
C) As stated above, and I can’t stress this enough, commercial TV was set up as a free service so that the commercials that ran on it paid for the content. So why is cable TV running commercials when we all pay for cable TV? We are being double billed people, wake up!!
You see, who ever is in charge is counting on YOU and me just shining this on or letting this fly over our heads. It’s time that someone do something and at least I can start by letting people know. Next up, Carburetors and how we can all get 60 to 70 miles to a gallon again, if you have the guts!
That was the Lazlo Report for January 1st, 2007
As I understood, “Commercial TV” was set up as a free service so that the commercials that interrupted the shows that played on it paid for those shows. So now they want us to pay them again? Commercials on TV have always sucked, plain and simple, but now the advertisers, along with the FCC, are taking control of our lives and people are just sitting back and taking this crap. There used to be a fine line between cable TV and Commercial TV and now they’re beginning to mix. Here are a couple of examples:
A) Not long ago there was only Robert Osborne in between each movie on TCM, now there’s commercials and he's got a helper too. the helper is ok but we do not need commercials self-seving or not.
B) They used to go directly to each movie on a “PAY CHANNEL” and now we all have to watch these stupid self-serving commercials, on a pay station!
C) As stated above, and I can’t stress this enough, commercial TV was set up as a free service so that the commercials that ran on it paid for the content. So why is cable TV running commercials when we all pay for cable TV? We are being double billed people, wake up!!
You see, who ever is in charge is counting on YOU and me just shining this on or letting this fly over our heads. It’s time that someone do something and at least I can start by letting people know. Next up, Carburetors and how we can all get 60 to 70 miles to a gallon again, if you have the guts!
That was the Lazlo Report for January 1st, 2007
The First Of Many Today
I'm sorry to say that my Blog got errased but I'm back at it and I am Mass Posting today every post that got errased as well as the post for Friday, the 11th.
I am really sorry for all of the replay....I really am.
Lazlo T. Hofstedder
I am really sorry for all of the replay....I really am.
Lazlo T. Hofstedder
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