Dog Tripper

In the need for a quick subject for a blog I asked the Lord this afternoon on what to write about and he told me to write about the pain in my back and what happened when I tripped over the dog.

By now you all know that I am disabled with severe spinal damage. I take an array of pills to kill the pain but in fact the pain will never go away and as of four or five months ago when my safe got stolen my doctor took me off of Oxycontin. I wish I had something for the heavy pain but for now I have some muscle relaxers and then there’s always been Tylenol® Extra Strength. I also have some pretty cool not ready for primetime patches that numb up the area pretty good and those too are prescription. The drugs I take are designed to take away as much of the spinal pain on a scale of 1 to 10 and up until this morning I was at a 3-1/2.

The problem today however wasn’t just my normal back pain. No, it was my overly loved and overly fed dog named George who had to lay right in the path in which I was walking. Naturally I, being the klutz that I am, tripped over him, knocked over the lamp and landed on the edge of the end table putting the full force of my 235 pound body, loosing one of my shoes in the process.

Luckily for me, and Praise the Lord, I see my spinal specialist this coming Monday so I’m pretty sure that it isn’t necessary to have the dog put to sleep or have my hips put in a full body wrap. I’ll stick with putting on the Lidoderm patches and taking the medicine as directed. Now my little dog Joe, now he’s another story, now he can drive me crazy as he’s doing right now. Just picking up after him is like picking up after a two year old child and anyone who’s had one can attest to that, I know I can. I don’t want to get the animal rights people on me but Joe is another one who I’d like to skin once in a while too, he just doesn’t sleep under my feet. He has other habits too icky to mention on a blog.

So the Lord gave me something to write about today which is good. My back feels like crap which is bad. The pain meds are working which is good.. America is spending too much money on keeping illegal aliens out without doing a very good job at it which is bad. My wife is and has been the best wife a man could ask for in the twenty-two years that we’ve been married, that’s really good….well I could go on and on. Oh yeah and about putting the dog to sleep; I wouldn’t do that, his meat is too tough and we don’t eat dog anymore anyway.

See ya'll on Monday

That’s the Lazlo Report for March 1, 2007